Friday, December 29, 2006

Dad of the year

a gentleman in berlin sold his 6 year old step-daughter's pet beagle for $53. why you ask? to buy beer. he sold it to a bar owner to get a drink.
the bar owner gave the dog back to the little girl.
what a schmuck.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Tis the Season

another news story featured just the other night - a deer slammed through the window of a bank, wandered around for awhile, and eventually jumped out the same window it came in through.
maybe the deer needed some "bucks" :)

Stranger than fiction

last night michael and i went to see Stranger Than Fiction on our rare night out together. we both really enjoyed the movie. it was will farrell, but with a very subtle humor. it was interesting watching him be in a comedy without being the one to make all the jokes and run down the street naked.
a few notes about the movie:
- in my opinion, there are not nearly enough movies centered around IRS agents.
- the IRS is not like how they portrayed it in the movie. i made sure to point out every one of them to michael.
- apparently not everyone counts while brushing their teeth or walking up stairs. i thought everyone did that. maybe only those of us with obsessive compulsive tendencies count everything....

Saturday, November 11, 2006

only in the midwest...

on thursday night, i was watching the local news. thursday nights are my favorite news nights, as they have a feature called "dirty dining". they basically just go to local restaurants that the inspector has written up and try to talk to the owners about being yucky. the owners never want to talk, but for some reason, i find it hilarious.
anyways, as i was waiting for dirty dining to come on (they always save it for last!), there were 2 news stories that were blog worthy:
1) a man was working late at night at nearby Richfield as the guy that cleans up the dead deer along the road. while he was sitting in his truck completing dead deer paperwork, he swears that he saw a 7 foot creature jump into the back of his truck and steal the deer. he said it was bigger than a bear. he called the police and four officers were sent to the scene (might i add that milwaukee has a VERY high crime rate). they spent the next few hours looking for bigfoot. seriously. bigfoot. the man who saw bigfoot refused to speak to the news because he was sure everyone would think he was crazy.
2) the next story, i swear, was about an 8 point deer that got stuck in a target in a Target in West Des Moines. the workers tried to chase it out, and eventually the deer went out the front door. there was pretty funny, yet sad, footage of workers chasing the deer and the poor deer totally wiping out.
bigfoot and a shopping deer. don't see that everywhere.

Friday, October 20, 2006

dad's midget disease

i just found out my dad needs brain surgery. if you could keep him in your thoughts and prayers, that would be great. we're not sure when the surgery will be (it has to be in iowa city, no neurosurgeon in dubuque!), but i'll keep you all updated.
strangely, this is dad's second brain surgery. while mom was pregnant with me, he was knocked out at work while chasing someone through backyards. the jury's still out whether he was hit on the head or whether he ran into a clothesline. :) but he had persistent headaches and eventually they found a large blood clot.
now, he has an arachnoid cyst. you don't know what that is? me either. i'm beginning to think i should have gone to medical instead of law school just to understand what's going on with everyone in my family! from what i do know, strangely, from watching little people, big world, is that it is a cyst full of some stuff in his brain. they need to install a shunt to move the stuff from his brain to his stomach. the midget kid in little people, big world had to have his redone because if the stuff doesn't end up in the right place, it makes you feel yucky. apparently, my dad's problem is very common in midgets.
i think it's named arachnoid because it looks like a spider? the doctors would probably laugh at me for saying that.
the cyst is putting pressure on his brain (which i think explains a lot about my father!) and has been giving him headaches. they thought they could just ignore it, but he had an MRI today and turns out they can't. it's pretty big. i have no idea what that means either.
so, iowa city is going to call him in about a week (it's not an emergency). then they go for the consultation, and then i'm sure we'll all treck to iowa city for another fun wait in the hospital while my mom or dad or other family member has some surgery.
hopefully it won't be a big deal (as small of a deal as brain surgery can be), but it would still be great if you could all put in a few extra prayers!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

suggestions please

jeep and geocaching have teamed up and created a fun game. they have put into circulation a bunch of "green jeeps" (they're like little matchbox cars). you find them and track them online and move them to a new cache. finding one of these is no easy task, there are a lot of people constantaly monitoring the jeeps and they find them pretty quickly. tonight i got an email saying a jeep had been placed within reasonable driving distance, so despite the darkness, we loaded up the puppies and were off to find it. this jeep was probably about the 10th we've frantically gone looking for, so imagine our surprise when it was actually there!
part of the contest is submitting a picture of the jeep showing a certain theme. this month's theme is adventure. so, this is where i need help. i need ideas of what sort of photo i should take of a green jeep portraying "adventure". suggestions please!!!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Irresponsible business owners suck

turns out, when brides and bridesmaids went to Blushing Bride Bridal Shop here in Milwaukee on Tuesday, the shop was closed and there was a sign posted on the door saying that the owner was filing for bankruptcy and the bank was seizing the store's inventory. Turns out the store is behind in taxes (state taxes, so it's not my problem!) by about $75,000+.
For those of you that have not yet had the pleasure of experiencing buying a dress (the shopping is fun, the buying is ridiculous), here is how it goes. you find the dress of your dreams, you think. you can only guess because the dress is a size 10 and you are not, so you stood in front of the mirror with either the dress falling off or some sort of bungee cord holding the thing on you, with your undergarments displayed for the whole store. but you decide this is the dress, so you order it. you pay in full and wait 6 to 8 weeks for the dress to arrive. and that's optimistic. then you have to have the dress altered because the bridal store measurements for what size you are are about 2 sizes too big, and you don't know any better because the only one you've seen is a size 10. you have to have the dress altered at that shop because other alterations people are hesitant to alter other stores dresses. with any luck you'll end up with the dress you want and it will fit and not fall down.
so these poor girls that ordered their dresses are SOL. there is no way they can get a dress in time for their wedding. some have weddings as close as this weekend. the only store that sells dresses off the rack (you don't have to order them) is david's bridal, and even then, they need to be altered, which can take awhile. not to mention, they have probably already dropped at least $500 (and that's really optimistic) on their dream dress and now have to pay another couple hundred for a dress that will just serve its purpose.
the good news is that several local vendors are coming together to help these poor brides out. they are offering dresses at cost or donating discontinued styles. one DJ is even offering $50 to any girl that got screwed. past brides are donating their used dresses. with any luck, no one will have to get married naked.
i can't believe these brides have not come together, found this woman, and beat her up. but then again, i suspect they're all probably busy trying to find new dresses.
here's a link to the story -

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

On a happier, less soapboxy note...

I'm going to be an aunt again! Erin and Nate will be giving me a new niece or nephew sometime in mid-March. Yea!
And just for the record, I think it's going to be a girl!


i was watching 60 minutes on sunday (the football game was late, so 60 minutes was late, so the amazing race was late and i was waiting for the amazing race to come on) and they did a special on bum hunting. apparently it is the new "activity" sweeping high schools.
the main goal of bum hunting is to kick the crap out of a homeless person, generally using either a metal pipe or a baseball bat. if you can't find one of those things, just plain kicking the bum is good enough.
apparently this "activity" was originally devised by a bunch of buys producing a series of movies call "bumfights". this series of movies has sold over 300,000 copies. in the movies, guys offer homeless men alcohol or a few dollars to do Jackass like stunts, which look terribly painful and dangerous. in a few "skits" (as the producer likes to call them), the guys sneak up on a sleeping homeless person (who has no idea he's part of this movie), bounds and gags him with duct tape, and beats him. "skit"? how about assault?
the story focused on 4 teenage boys who had been arrested and put in jail for most of their adult lives for killing a homeless man who had the misfortune of stumbling on them smoking pot in the woods. they beat him with a metal pipe, a piece of wood with a nail in it, and their bare hands. the poor guy died. when asked by the host why they did it, the kid responded "for fun". the boys' favorite activity was to watch the "bumfight" movies. the kid wanted to let other kids know that even though they might be beating homeless men for fun, they shouldn't cause they'd go to jail. not because it's wrong, but because they'd get in trouble.
i think this is one of the most disturbing things i have heard in a long long time. movies about beating homeless people and feeding on their addictions and situations. kids beating anyone, "for fun". and the worst part, these stupid movies have sold hundreds of thousands of copies. and we wonder why the world is in the state it is.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Making law school a little less boring...

michael is taking law and economics this semester. i have no idea what this class is about. but that's irrelevant.
in determining whether a case should be litigated, there's this formula that takes the cost of litigation and compares it to the probability of winning times the amount likely to be won. or something like that.
michael's professor writes this formula on the board consistently throughout his class.
he chooses to abbreviate the cost of litigation as C sub lit.
which makes it difficult for anyone to pay attention. everyone abbreviates it c sub l in their notes to avoid any giggling during finals studying.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

A new experience

mike bought me a GPS for my birthday (thanks scott for all the help!). tonight we tried geocaching. our first trip was to an athletic park. we found our way to near the point, but couldn't find anything. and mike had to go to the bathroom, so we left. we probably should have looked at the hint before we went!
when we got home, we found out that it was a super difficult cache. so we decided to pick an easy one. we drove our way down to a different park and walked towards the point. and then i found it. about 20 2002 Playboy magazines. in a cardboard box under a giant pine tree.
we decided that wasn't the cache we were looking for. shortly thereafter, we found a small film canister like thing under a rock under the tree! yea!
geocaching rocks. can't wait to try it out in different places!

Pepto stains

so butler wasn't feeling well. so we went to give him some peptobismol. i, in typical kate fashion, knocked over the bottle, spilling it all over the bedskirt, sheets, nightstand, and carpet. and molly. good thing she's a girl.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

southpark the movie rocks.

mike had never seen southpark the movie. so we bought it.
we were enjoying the movie the other night. sadaam is hilarious.
then mike turns to me and asks with complete sincerity:
"was sadaam dead when this movie was made?"
to which i replied:
"no, given that he's still alive now."
mike's hilarious too.

he who came before us...

when we moved into our new apartment, the young girl next door told us that they guy that lived there before us was really weird. he had boxes piled full in the garage and never seemed to stay there.
we get mail from the old resident. it is usually addressed to kitten toy store. at first, i figured that it was some sort of pet supply store. how wonderful - maybe someone will send a free sample someday!
then last week, we got something very un-petlike. it was a catalog. a fairly thick catalog. wrapped in black plastic. and the contents of the catalog were most definitely not pet toys. let's just say there were things in this catalog that i would never have imagined and am still not sure what to do with. let's hope they don't send a sample.
suddenly it all became clear - the guy before us was apparently running some sort of porn and sex toy distribution center. my only comfort is that he apparently did not live there.

Friday, July 14, 2006

overheard at work

"if you're going to smoke weed, that's your business, as long as you don't do it in my house. but make sure you take it out of your pockets before you wash your shorts because it screwed up my machine."

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

how am i supposed to be professional in this situation!?

the woman across the aisle from me (elmo) just farted. loudly. and i'm supposed to sit here and pretend like it didn't happen!?

Monday, July 03, 2006

Charlotte!? Really!?

I was sitting here in my apartment all by myself listening to "I'm Gonna Be" by the Proclaimers better known as I Would Walk 500 Miles) and reading Erin Elizabeth's blog and I came across her post for the Sex and the City quiz. Assuming I would score as Miranda easily, I took the quiz. I turned out 81% Charlotte! I was only 69% Miranda. Next up were Samantha and Carrie at 50 and 44% respectively. Very interesting.
Take the quiz here.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Move over Jerry Springer...

The loud secretary is just full of drama. Her kid's father died the other day. I was able to hear the entire conversation where she found out clearly. It's constant drama around here. I can only imagine what will happen next week.

Speaking of names...

I was recently reading a post on Gwen's blog which referenced having the same name as someone else on campus. Growing up with Kate Avenarius as my name, I cannot relate. My dad, Dan Avenarius, however, gets phone calls for the other Dan Avenarius in Dubuque all the time. The funny part is, I think the other Dan might get arrested a lot. I wonder if my dad has ever arrested him. That would be cool.

Then I read a comment from Megs that prompted me to remember a story I thought deserved sharing.

Since arriving at the Milwaukee office, I have been receiving phone calls for someone who handles unagreed cases. I'm not exactly sure what they're asking for, other than that I am not the person they are looking for. Every time they ask me to transfer them to someone who has any idea what's going on and then seem quite upset when I tell them I'm new and I don't even know who to transfer them to.

So yesterday I decided to take a proactive approach to solving the problem. The woman on the phone (who's voice became more irritated as time went on), trying to help me out, asked if "Barb" is in my office. I know the name of about 3 people here, and "Barb" is not one of them, so I was not surprisingly no help.

So after we got off the phone, off I went to find "Barb". I first stopped at my secretary's desk. I waited my turn patiently while she finished a conversation and then politely asked if she knew someone named "Barb".

Both the secretary and other guy's faces turned bright red. At this point, I realized I had done something, but no idea what.

Turns out, an older woman had retired from our office in March. She died the day before yesterday. And guess what. Her name is "Barb".

So now at least I can attest to whether I know if "Barb" works in this office. She does not.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

This morning, I was running late. Molly was being a pain in my rear. I was out of clean clothes. I filled my new Nalgene (not the normal wide mouth ones, but a special one I bought yesterday that has a flip top so I don't spill all over myself while drinking in the car) with water from our new water cooler. I added some delicious tropical punch kool-aid mix. I put the top on. I shook the red kool-aid filled Nalgene. I put the lid on. I started to shake the Nalgene. Red kool-aid everywhere. On the wall, on the carpet, on my bag, on my shirt, on my face, on the table, on Molly. Apparently the flip top was not on tight. So much for preventing myself from spilling all over. I now have red hair.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Big Bird and Elmo

two of my favorite people at work -

1) the nice woman sitting behind me with bright red hair. like elmo. and she always wears red tops, as if to really drive her point, whatever that is, home.
2) the older woman with yellow hair. not blond, not light, but flat out yellow. every time i see her i think of big bird. except she's short.

these are the things that keep me entertained all day every day.

it also seems that the meaning of business casual is a little different here. apparently gym pants, stretch leggings, and black jeans all constitute business casual. oh yeah, t-shirts are ok with any of the above.

Friday, June 09, 2006

crazy in a good way

so i've officially transferred over to the milwaukee office. generally, i like it better. sure, i don't get to hang out with my madison friends much anymore, but hey, they put up cubicle walls between us so we couldn't talk anymore anyways. and my desk here, get this, has a motor that raises and lowers the part my computer on so that i don't have to hunch over because they made the desk for short people. i think someday i'll even be able to move my chair up so that i'm not sitting on the floor!
the people here are....different. first off, we have a business casual dress code. i would say 30% of people are wearing jeans every day. and 10% are wearing gym pants. not exactly business casual.
in the past 4 days, i have been privy to 2 loud conversations that have no place in the workplace. the first was a woman (i have no idea who she is) who was VERY upset with her boyfriend/husband because he did not finish tilling the backyard. she was yelling. phrases such as "i don't want to hear it", "i'm sick of this s%*t", and various other strongly worded phrases came out of her mouth and clearly traveled the distance from her cubicle to mine, nearly 4 cubes away. after her final yelling match, she walked to the next aisle over to ask if anyone would be willing to house her boyfriend/husband. as if we did not already know what was going on. i know nothing about this woman, other than her boyfriend/husband is named Rocky and she feels strongly about her backyard being tilled.
yesterday, one of the secretarys (we still call them that here) was on the phone. she is on the phone at least 6 hours a day. never to anyone at work, always to friends and family. one of the remaining hours is lunch. i suspect she works for maybe 1 hour a day. she was having a loud conversation with someone. she asked this person where they found the money to purchase "smack" (i am not up on the linguistics of this, maybe EK can hook me up?) and she inquired how this person could afford "smack" and not afford to pay her back. she was very concerned about getting her money from this person. she has attended 1 funeral, 1 wedding shower that all the guests had to contribute money to, and one graduation in the last week. i could not pick her out of a crowded room, but i do know all this.
so these are the people i work with here in milwaukee. just keeping things interesting. it's almost like having a TV on all day long....

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Our new baby girl

So, under the premise that I would stop bugging Mike about a house and/or a kid, we got a new puppy. She is an 8 week old cockapoo. Her name is Molly. We bought her yesterday and she's adjusted quite nicely to our home. I even think Butler likes her!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Our "new" living room

so we decided we are going to purchase various expensive furnishings gradually over the next few years so that we don't go bankrupt eventually trying to furnish a house. we used my excess per diem from my month long sabatical to Philly to buy an ottoman. it rules. but then it looked out of place with our hand me down rug. so we shopped. and shopped. and shopped. we were looking for something with red in it (the only color we can usually agree on), but found this one instead. we added some pottery barn pillows (they were on clearance!) and a cheap blanket from sam's club and i think we're well on our way to an actual living room instead of a bunch of hand me down stuff! notice the basket to the right of the couch. that is courtesy of megs and erin king. doesn't it look awesome there!?

Friday, March 10, 2006

I Can't Feel My Legs - I have no Legs!

so the other night i was sleeping soundly in my bed at the residence inn in central city philadelphia. i woke up at 2:30 in the morning and needed to use the restroom. i sleepily pulled back the covers and stood up. and collapsed. thinking to myself, again sleepily, that was weird, i tried to stand up again. and collapsed again. so i kneeled by the bed for a few minutes, until i realized that it my leg was really heavy...
it turns out it had fallen asleep. and i fell on my butt twice. hard.
this was the first time i have ever had my leg fall asleep, and quite frankly it was scary. especially at 2:30am. i can't figure out whether it would have been scarier if i was totally awake or if i would have figured out what was going on faster and therefore it would have been less scary. either way, it was weird. but made a great story for everyone in the morning.

Even Better

So i ran mike's picture. he looks like daniel day louis, zamfir the pan flutist, and most importantly, tom welling. i knew i married him for a reason.
perhaps the highlight of the night was when i ran a funny picture of greg from the big snowstorm in denver. he resembles, by 54%, Bjork. i laughed so hard i cried.
that is a thought that will keep me smiling to myself ever so slightly for the next week or so.

I look like who?

finally, i have returned from philadelphia for good. i think. i might have to go back in 6 weeks, but then again, maybe i'll get to venture somewhere else. but that's beside the point.
i ran my face through it scans your face and determines which celebrities have facial structures similar to yours. i was totally surprised by the results. i never would have guessed....
for starters, i used this terribly flattering picture of myself.

my results were as follows:
- Brittinay Murphy 64%
- Natalie Imbruglia 63%
- Priety Zinta 63% (i don't know who this is, but there are worse people i could look like!)
- Eva Longoria 62%
- Cindi Lauper 62%
- Jennifer Lopez 60% (maybe they were comparing my butt instead of my face....)
- Gwen Stefani 60%
- Lucille Ball 60%
i don't look like any men. i suppose that's a good thing.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

A Married Sunday Afternoon Part Deux

i apologize for not posting. i've been in Philadelphia for the last week and a half for training and can't access the internet for anything non-government related. actually, i can't really access it for government related stuff either. i think it's a conspiracy.....
ok, today's fiasco all started on about wednesday when michael mentioned that he had drained the battery on the new hyundai. which he does quite often. he told me that he had tried to jump it, but that he was unable to do it by himself and needed a second pair of hands. ignoring the fact that there are several other people in wisconsin, we eventually agreed to just wait until i got home. i asked him if he would call a car person, ahem, a professional car person and ask if leaving a dead battery out in the cold for a week and a half was bad for it. i was assured by him, my mom, and a co-worker that that was ridiculous and there was no need to worry.
fast forward to today. day two of my three day trip back to milwaukee.
at about 2:00 this afternoon, michael and i wandered outdoors in subzero weather to attempt to jump the car. as soon as you touch the black cable to anything, whether it be something metal or the actual negative post (which i found out was not the appropriate way to jump a car), the car alarm goes off. if you follow the manual, you do not connect the black cable at all, thus leaving an open circuit. i'm no engineer, but i'm pretty sure that's not going to jump the car.
so we called the tow truck.
the gentleman arrived and concluded the battery was completed dead and that we needed a new one. and then assured us we could replace the battery ourselved. in subzero weather. so we dismissed him and went to advanced auto parts to purchase a new car battery.
$64 later we came home with our battery. we managed to remove the two nuts the tow truck driver pointed out to us after a bit of elbow grease. the battery wouldn't budge. at this point we noticed a small bolt towards the bottom, and very well covered with sharp metal pieces, that needed to be removed.
we tried a wrench. we tried a pliers. we tried one of those things you put on the end of a screw driver that should cover the bolt all the way around. we tried everything we had.
after about an hour we concluded that we needed a bigger hex driver (note the technical terminology which i'm almost positive is wrong). so off to home depot.
they don't make hex drivers any bigger, so we bought a full ratchet set. at this point, i'm beginning to feel like tim the tool man taylor.
neither the 7/16 or the 1/2 socket things fit on this damn bolt. so maybe, given that the car is foreign, the socket thingy we need is in metric instead of english or whatever system we use here in the usa....
we called advanced auto parts. the first guy says that there aren't any metric socket thingys. so i give up and call hyundai roadside assistance again. they say that because of the storm (which i think was something like 5 days ago), they are now running about 8 hours behind. so i decide to try AAA instead. they say they can get me someone in 3 hours. yea!
so we decide to call advanced auto parts to see if they will install the battery in the morning if we have the car towed there. they say yes and then rob the nice advanced auto parts man tells us that there is in fact a metric socket thingy. so off to advanced auto parts we go.
while looking at a row full of socket thingys, i ask rob if he thinks that leaving a battery not charged in the cold for 7 days is bad for it. he says definitely and it will probably ruin the battery. at least we know now that this entire situation is mike's fault. and mom. and my co-worker.
we find a 12mm socket thingy and buy it. and drive home.
we get all the way home and i find that i have NO idea where the 12mm socket thingy is. so we call advanced auto parts and find out that i dropped the socket thingy in the parking lot. now part of this entire mess is my fault. damn. grrr..... so back we go. again.
we get back and try to get the stupid bolt off. while mike is accomplishing the goal we at this point began upwards of 6 hours ago, the tow truck man calls and is lost. i give him directions because i'm not sure at this point that the car is going to start even with a new battery.
mike attaches the new battery. the alarm goes off again.
the tow truck man arrives (only after mike drives to a nearby gas station to retrieve him) and alleges that he can start the car. we laugh at him.
he attaches the battery and the alarm goes off. he promptly takes the car key, pushes a little button, the alarm stops, and then mike goes in and starts the car right up. as if there had never been a problem. damn.
so, we found out that the car has an alarm. an alarm which can be turned off using the top button of the remote. and that that alarm disables the starter, which in turn makes the car not start. and it only took us 6 hours, 3 trips to advanced auto parts, 2 tow truck drivers, 2 car batteries, and a trip to home depot to learn that.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

I would have been dumped

So, on Thursday I was driving home from Madison to Milwaukee. I happened upon a large Chevy truck, with all the fixins. Bigger wheels, tinted windows, custom paint, the works. The guy must have been cool. Anyways, I could see from a distance that there was something written in window paint on his back window. As I approached, I realized it said,

"Happy 11 months, my prince!"

Complete with a hand drawn rose underneath.

I can't think of one person that I dated that would have allowed me to do such a thing without kicking me to the curb.
I laughed. Hard. And I'm a girl.

Tag, You're It!

Ok, so Scott tagged me. This is a totally new concept to me, but I'll play along!

Four Jobs I’ve had in My Life
Internal Revenue Agent for the IRS
Becky's B*$%c at KPMG
Resident Assistant
Day Camp Counselor at various camps

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have:
Old School
Bridget Jones's Diary
Anything Julia Roberts
Billy Madison

Four Places I Have Lived:
Brookfield, WI
Denver, CO
Iowa City, IA
Dubuque, IA

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:
Grey's Anatomy
Las Vegas

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:
Negril, Jamaica
Las Vegas, NV
New York City, NY
Prescott, AZ

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
the DU webmail page

Four Favorite Foods:
Chinese donuts
crab wontons
scallops in saffron cream
anything breakfast, especially with chocolate chips

Four Places I Would Like to Visit:
New York City (I'm going next weekend!)

Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Shopping for shoes sucks!

let me begin this post by telling you all that i have been to 3 malls today. one of them twice. i leave tomorrow for bloomington, mn (ironically the home of the mall of america) and needed to finish a couple of last minute errands. my fleece doesn't fit in my shell (the dangers of purchasing the north face off of ebay), i bought the wrong size of a pair of pants, and i needed to return a shirt. when i got home from my first set of errands, i had received my eddie bauer christmas present in the mail, but the boots (the only shoes i would have that matched the two new kick ass outfights i got) didn't fit. of course, the stores i needed were spread out across the three malls and an REI. none of them are anywhere near each other.
so, at about 7pm i went to brookfield square, the mall closest to our apartment (really, it's about 2 blocks away). i searched every shoe store in that mall for a pair of shoes that would look equally good with a new skirt and a new suit. such a task is not simple. i asked the nice shoe man at boston store (equivalent to younkers) for about 4 different pairs of shoes before i finally found a pair that worked.
i then bought some pantyhose and sunglasses and set off for my house and bed at about 8pm. as i walked through the door, the security buzzers sounded.
first off, let me explain that i used to work at younkers when i was in high school. their customer relations is ridiculous. they refuse to announce that the store is closing in 10 minutes because some of the customers might feel rushed. so the poor clueless customers wander around aimlessly as the sales associates get more and more frustrated. and they require their sales associates to speak to people by name. which i hate. if you don't know me, don't use my name. it freaks me out. i don't like it.
so, the buzzer goes off. instead of just beeping, it goes into a monologue about how it seems that one of their sales associates forgot to remove a security tag from one of my items and asking me to wait patiently for assistance. there are about 10 people standing around staring at me as this buzzer goes off. one of them suggests i just leave. i decide, being the mostly law abiding citizen that i am, that i would wait.
i see a sales associate walking towards me and figure she's coming to help me.
she turned and walked away from me.
so i decided to leave.
of course, at this point i had moved back into the store, thus causing the buzzer to go off again as i exited. and no one seemed to care, except the 10 people standing around, who i suspect found the whole thing quite entertaining.
moral of the story - if you're going to install security systems that embarass customers, at least check their bags before they leave the store and clear any doubt in the watcherby people's minds.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

My Goodness....

ok, so i'm disappointed in us all. first, it is a new year. our motivations are supposed to be fresh and strong. yet, despite the fact that we are all having very exciting lives, there is little posting going on (scott excepted)! i myself have not posted since i can't remeber when (i would check, but then i would have to navigate away from this page and according to the internet explorer gods, that would mean that all of this exceptional knowledge would be lost and gone forever).
ok, so here it goes (in no particular order).

today is my third to last day at work. thank the lord.

i spent the day with the three interns, who i have brainwashed into loving me. i suspect it is because everyone else that works there is crazy in a bad way instead of entertaining crazy like me.

i ate at my first mexican restaurant in Milwaukee today. it ruled. i missed denver mexican food.

we bought a new car this past weekend. it's a 2003 silver hyundai elantra. we negotiated them down $1200. i was impressed, despite the fact that $300 of that was because i figured the sales tax on the wrong number. it scares me that i will soon be working for the IRS....

scott got engaged. i still randomly smile when i think of this.

paula is having a baby. we're throwing a shower on feb. 25th. i'm pumped. it's my first event planning since the weddings, so i feel at home.

my friend jessie got a job at a kick ass denver law firm. she rules. jessie has also purchased a house and got a new car.

jessie was the first of my friends (before scott) to get engaged outside of the country, therefore leaving me screaming at the computer with no way to contact them! such things make me happy.

i go to bloomington, mn on sunday for a week of IRS orientation. the form for my background check was 28 pages long and included every place i have ever worked, lived, or gone to school. complete with the name and current contact information of someone i knew while there, still know, and still lives in that area. suffice it so say, that was difficult.

on feb. 9th, i go to Philadelphia for a month. i'm actually sort of excited. sure, i'll miss the husband and dog, but philly sounds sort of cool too. and it means i have a new job. which makes me happy.

it's butler's birthday on feb. 4th.

it's mike's birthday today!

my mom goes to jamaica for a week tomorrow. i'll miss talking to her on the phone in the morning, but i'm psyched that she gets to go. she deserves a vacation (even though she can't get a tan and looks really funny in a swim suit because of all the marks on her side because of radiation).

i'm angry at fox because they cancelled and stopped playing episodes of reunion. grrr.... but, american idol (this is my first season of watching) last night was freaking hilarious. if i ever get it into my head that i can sing and decide to audition, i would hope that one of you would tell me if i sounded like 6 cats in a small bag dropped in boiling water.

i think that's about enough for now. i think that just about catches everyone up. at least for now. now, onto resolving to post more often....

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Wow...what a LONG year.....

This year finished up just as it started. Busy as all get out. And I apologize for the delay in posting. Rest assured all of your emails and questions will soon be answered! First, a quick recap and analysis of the year 2005....
It started out normal. Third year of law school. Bored out of my mind except for that part where we were fighting with the dean....
Second semester of third year of law school. Wow, I actually can become more apathetic and bored....
Graduation. Mom and Dad and Dixie and Denny attended. I don't think the actual gravity of the situation hit me until I was wearing my funny purple hat and walking in to another rendition of Pomp and Circumstance, a song I have hated for as long as I can remember because we had to play it at nausea at graduation in high school. I had finally accomplished my third grade goals and had no idea where I was to go from there, but, it was great to be done.
From there on, life has been a blur. Here are the hightlights...
- Moving from Denver to Milwaukee. Living closer to family and some friends is definitely cool.
- Bar study. Yuck.
- Starting a new job.
- Taking the bar. More yuck.
- My grandma passing away in the middle of the bar exam. Are you kidding me?
- Danielle getting married. Damn that kid is beautiful!
- Me getting married!!
- Starting to look for a new job. Which is a lot less stressful when you already have a job, regardless of how much it sucks!
- Passing the bar exam! If anyone needs a lawyer, let me know....
- Mom being diagnosed with breast cancer.
- Mom having a partial mastectomy. What a trooper!
- Mom being declared free of cancer and more or less in the clear. Thank God!
- Getting a new job with the good 'ol IRS!
- Going to Jamaica with my not so new husband on our honeymoon. Which was perfect.
- A wonderful christmas with a whole new family. and another family, and another, and another, and another. And 41 presents to give away under the tree!
- An awesome new years weekend with Danielle and Eric and Tony and Sara in Iowa City!

So all in all, it has been an absolutely crazy year. I'm looking forward to just hanging out this year. No major life events, no major family emergencies, nothing. And maybe even staying home at our apartment in Milwaukee every once in awhile! I'm looking forward to spending time with friends and family and seeing at least two new additions to my "family" (yea baby Maddy and baby Schmitz!). And making sure to update this blog more often!