Pregnancy: 38 weeks
Weight Gain: i don't want to talk about it...
Sleep: i go to bed about 10-10:30. i get up at 11:30, 12:30, and 1:30 to go to the bathroom. at my 12:30 awakening, i flip to laying on my right side. lather, rinse, repeat.
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :)
Feeling: anxious to meet this little one! the doctor said today that she wasn't engaged yet, but you could have fooled me - my pelvis hurts SOOO bad.
Cravings: nothing specific really
Health: i've had a sore throat the last few days, which sucks. and everything hurts. but we're in the home stretch!
Movement: a little bit less this time. we did a non-stress test today (about 30 minutes on the heart monitor) and she looks perfect though, so she must just be running out of room.
Belly: imagine a whale that walks like a penguin. yep, that's about it.
Next Appointment: monday at 5:30am for our scheduled c-section at 7:30!!!!!
as much as i can't wait to meet our daughter (i think that's the first time i've referred to her as that. i remember the first time called ryan my son - it's amazing what emotions a word can bring), i'm find myself feeling sad that our time with just monkey is ending. as we sit around and play or are being silly before bed, it will all of a sudden hit me that our days as a family of 3 are numbered. while i know that this next stage of the journey will be even better, i still will miss this time with just him. he and i will always have a special bond.
OP's birthday is scheduled to be a pretty exciting day. we're having cupcakes delivered to the hospital (i had a coupon) and have a wonderful photographer coming to document our first few moments with our baby girl. most importantly, she will be there to capture the moment ryan meets his little sister. i'm blesssed to have a picture of the best moment of my life to date - the moment we brought ryan home from the hospital and we were all together on the couch in our house. i have a feeling the moment that my children meet will be equally special, if not more. i can't wait.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
the one where i complain...
i am a very, very lucky person. not much comes easily around here, but eventually it all works out. i have the most amazing husband, a beautiful baby boy, a baby girl on the way, and am *thisclose* to having my dream house. i have a wonderful support system and a fairly stable job (although the last few weeks have been a bit sketchy - thank you congress).
that being said, being 37 weeks pregnant while caring for a 2 year old and building a house is HARD. not a little bit hard, a lot a bit hard. if i had to choose, i would choose this path over the NICU path every single time, but that's not making this path any easier.
there is a lot to do. i have at least 1, if not 2 meetings scheduled every day between now and wednesday. drop off the builders risk insurance check, copy the HUD statement and deliver it, OB appointment, chiro appointment, closing, get a subsoil guarantee, pick out colors, meet with the photographer, blah, blah, blah. as my body grows more and more tired, i find myself with more and more on my plate. not to mention, i have to get my work inventory ready for someone else to take over.
this is not what we planned. we put our house on the market nearly a year before we sold it. it took us awhile to get pregnant again. i started working on building our house as soon as we found out we sold. yet here we are, closing less than a week before our baby girl is scheduled to debut. fingers crossed that she doesn't have the same interest in being dramatic as her brother and that she stays put until her scheduled arrival.
not to mention, this pregnancy stuff hurts. my pelvic bone cracks when i move after sitting in one position for too long. i didn't even know that was possible. the nausea has returned. last night was not pretty - i'll spare you the details.
and, to add insult to injury, my OCD is in hyperdrive. i wonder constantly if what i'm feeling is normal or if something is wrong. why am i nauseous? am i sick? is ryan going to get sick? OMG, i can't handle being sick right now, i'm too busy. and i can't even consider ryan being sick. i'm hopeful that when my hormones settle down my OCD will return to it's manageable level. at this point, i'm constantly worried that ryan is sick. constantly. if he is staring at the TV, i'm worried. if he doesn't eat a huge dinner, i worry. if he coughs, i worry. if he's quiet, i worry. the worry consumes me and i'm anxious for it to stop, or at least return to the point where i'm only freaking out when there's actually something to freak out about.
that's enough complaining i think. this last couple of weeks is a marathon and we're nearing the finish line. i have no doubt that the rewards will be worth the effort.
that being said, being 37 weeks pregnant while caring for a 2 year old and building a house is HARD. not a little bit hard, a lot a bit hard. if i had to choose, i would choose this path over the NICU path every single time, but that's not making this path any easier.
there is a lot to do. i have at least 1, if not 2 meetings scheduled every day between now and wednesday. drop off the builders risk insurance check, copy the HUD statement and deliver it, OB appointment, chiro appointment, closing, get a subsoil guarantee, pick out colors, meet with the photographer, blah, blah, blah. as my body grows more and more tired, i find myself with more and more on my plate. not to mention, i have to get my work inventory ready for someone else to take over.
this is not what we planned. we put our house on the market nearly a year before we sold it. it took us awhile to get pregnant again. i started working on building our house as soon as we found out we sold. yet here we are, closing less than a week before our baby girl is scheduled to debut. fingers crossed that she doesn't have the same interest in being dramatic as her brother and that she stays put until her scheduled arrival.
not to mention, this pregnancy stuff hurts. my pelvic bone cracks when i move after sitting in one position for too long. i didn't even know that was possible. the nausea has returned. last night was not pretty - i'll spare you the details.
and, to add insult to injury, my OCD is in hyperdrive. i wonder constantly if what i'm feeling is normal or if something is wrong. why am i nauseous? am i sick? is ryan going to get sick? OMG, i can't handle being sick right now, i'm too busy. and i can't even consider ryan being sick. i'm hopeful that when my hormones settle down my OCD will return to it's manageable level. at this point, i'm constantly worried that ryan is sick. constantly. if he is staring at the TV, i'm worried. if he doesn't eat a huge dinner, i worry. if he coughs, i worry. if he's quiet, i worry. the worry consumes me and i'm anxious for it to stop, or at least return to the point where i'm only freaking out when there's actually something to freak out about.
that's enough complaining i think. this last couple of weeks is a marathon and we're nearing the finish line. i have no doubt that the rewards will be worth the effort.
Monday, April 18, 2011
FULL TERM
Pregnancy: 37 weeks
Weight Gain: i don't want to talk about it...
Sleep: a few nights i was awake for a good long time because of reflux. ouch. other than that and some pretty sore hips, not too shabby.
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :)
Feeling: relief! i finally get to see what being full term feels like. as it turns out, it hurts.
Cravings: raspberry sundaes from culvers
Health: being full term is playing games with my OCD. i have NO IDEA what going into labor feels like and therefore i'm always wondering if what i feel is normal. as it turns out, one of my *favorite* OCD quirks is that i can make myself feel pretty much any symptom. pain in the upper right quad? well, now that you mention it, i did feel a twinge last tuesday. so that's been fun. i can only imagine the fun my doctor and i will have together in the next 14 days. thank goodness he's understanding and patient.
Movement: lots and lots!
Belly: imagine a whale that walks like a penguin. yep, that's about it.
Next Appointment: tomorrow at 37w1d.
Weight Gain: i don't want to talk about it...
Sleep: a few nights i was awake for a good long time because of reflux. ouch. other than that and some pretty sore hips, not too shabby.
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :)
Feeling: relief! i finally get to see what being full term feels like. as it turns out, it hurts.
Cravings: raspberry sundaes from culvers
Health: being full term is playing games with my OCD. i have NO IDEA what going into labor feels like and therefore i'm always wondering if what i feel is normal. as it turns out, one of my *favorite* OCD quirks is that i can make myself feel pretty much any symptom. pain in the upper right quad? well, now that you mention it, i did feel a twinge last tuesday. so that's been fun. i can only imagine the fun my doctor and i will have together in the next 14 days. thank goodness he's understanding and patient.
Movement: lots and lots!
Belly: imagine a whale that walks like a penguin. yep, that's about it.
Next Appointment: tomorrow at 37w1d.
Monday, April 11, 2011
angels
ryan is named after one of my best friends from high school. since my friend passed away, i've been blessed to be reminded of him every so often, usually when i need some reassurance that everything will be ok. for instance, the day i first had bleeding with ryan, i heard the five for fighting song "superman" playing at TJ Max. given that this was in 2008 and the song hadn't been popular for awhile, i knew it was ryan, letting me know i didn't need to worry. blond haired, blue eyed kiddos in superman shirts tend to show up at the most random times as well (not counting my blond haired blue eyed little dude).
when ryan was first born, as is the case with most preemies, he laid in his isolette with his arms outstretched and bent, as if he was signaling a touchdown. i know in my heart that he had 2 angels standing on either side of him - ryan and my grandma avenarius. i believe all preemies lay that way because they need the help of their special angels.
i've explained to ryan many times that he has 2 special angels. when he lost his balloon outside and it flew up into the sky, i told him it flew to his special angels. when we hear the superman song, i remind him that that means his angels are watching over him.
last night, as i laid next to him in his bed and he was drifting between sleep and awake, he was telling me all about his angels. i couldn't understand most of what he was saying, but it warmed my heart to hear that he knows about his angels and that he is loved. when i relayed the story to michael, he told me that ryan often talks of his angels.
it brings tears to my eyes to know that ryan, on one level or another, understands that these ever-so-special people are part of his life as well.
when ryan was first born, as is the case with most preemies, he laid in his isolette with his arms outstretched and bent, as if he was signaling a touchdown. i know in my heart that he had 2 angels standing on either side of him - ryan and my grandma avenarius. i believe all preemies lay that way because they need the help of their special angels.
i've explained to ryan many times that he has 2 special angels. when he lost his balloon outside and it flew up into the sky, i told him it flew to his special angels. when we hear the superman song, i remind him that that means his angels are watching over him.
last night, as i laid next to him in his bed and he was drifting between sleep and awake, he was telling me all about his angels. i couldn't understand most of what he was saying, but it warmed my heart to hear that he knows about his angels and that he is loved. when i relayed the story to michael, he told me that ryan often talks of his angels.
it brings tears to my eyes to know that ryan, on one level or another, understands that these ever-so-special people are part of his life as well.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
twins?!
according to the checkout lady at target, i'm having twins! when i told her that i was quite positive that wasn't the case, she asked if i was sure. i think after upwards of 5 ultrasounds i can pretty confidently say yes.
35 weeks, 6 days pregnant (with ONE baby)
35 weeks, 6 days pregnant (with ONE baby)
nesting without a nest
i will be 36 weeks tomorrow - 1 week away from "full term." my goal was to have everything in place and ready to rock by 32 weeks, 6 days, but with selling the house and moving, that didn't fall into place. the new goal is 36 weeks.
i have lists - a list of dinners, a list for the hospital bag, a list for ryan's bag, a list for what needs to be done, a list for work stuff that needs to be done. a list of lists.
we've been slowly making progress - a load of laundry here, a bag packed there, but still had a lot of things to do as of today. and as i get bigger, my motivation gets smaller and smaller.
it seems i forgot all the important things in storage - 4oz bottles, the bassinet portion of the pack n play (aka baby OP's crib), hooded towels. all that planning, and i forgot the things related to food, bathing, and sleeping. oops! my sister came through on her hooded towels and pack n play and i used a couple of amazon coupons to get more 4oz bottles. if she's anything like her brother, she won't need the for long anyways. and hopefully she'll take to breastfeeding and bottles won't be as much a part of our day to day lives.
today i packed monkey's bag for his sleepover at auntie erin's on may 1st. it was bittersweet packing his big brother shirts into his big boy suitcase. that night will sting a little bit - it will be the last night it's just him. the last night he has 100% of my attention as we eat dinner, take a bath, say our prayers, sing our songs, and cuddle. but bigger and better things are ahead of us. he's so excited to meet his big sister - he's always telling us what she likes (songs) and what she doesn't like, who likes her and who doesn't, and that she makes chocolate (i'm pretty psyched about that!). today he bought her a present - a new blankie and a violet (leapfrog puppy) just like his. on the way home today he told me he was going to snuggle and kiss and sing to his little sister. he's going to be a great big brother and i can't wait to see my little ones together.
next up was cleaning out the top drawer of nightstand. leaky gripe water is icky. we got new tylenol (the target brand cause i'm still mad at target for making me replace all my tylenol!) and gas drops. they are in place and ready to go.
we installed the car seats. i'm not going to lie - 2 car seats in my honda pilot is kind of scary. we moved ryan over to behind the driver and i hope he doesn't freak out. the passenger seat is way up and i look forward to 6 months or so of squished riding. :)
we still have what seems like miles to go - set up the pack n play, set up pumping (i'm going to try to start early to establish a good supply this time), pack my bag, etc. we have 21 rings left on our paper chain until we're a family of 4. (well, 20 rings, ryan took 2 off today)
i have lists - a list of dinners, a list for the hospital bag, a list for ryan's bag, a list for what needs to be done, a list for work stuff that needs to be done. a list of lists.
we've been slowly making progress - a load of laundry here, a bag packed there, but still had a lot of things to do as of today. and as i get bigger, my motivation gets smaller and smaller.
it seems i forgot all the important things in storage - 4oz bottles, the bassinet portion of the pack n play (aka baby OP's crib), hooded towels. all that planning, and i forgot the things related to food, bathing, and sleeping. oops! my sister came through on her hooded towels and pack n play and i used a couple of amazon coupons to get more 4oz bottles. if she's anything like her brother, she won't need the for long anyways. and hopefully she'll take to breastfeeding and bottles won't be as much a part of our day to day lives.
today i packed monkey's bag for his sleepover at auntie erin's on may 1st. it was bittersweet packing his big brother shirts into his big boy suitcase. that night will sting a little bit - it will be the last night it's just him. the last night he has 100% of my attention as we eat dinner, take a bath, say our prayers, sing our songs, and cuddle. but bigger and better things are ahead of us. he's so excited to meet his big sister - he's always telling us what she likes (songs) and what she doesn't like, who likes her and who doesn't, and that she makes chocolate (i'm pretty psyched about that!). today he bought her a present - a new blankie and a violet (leapfrog puppy) just like his. on the way home today he told me he was going to snuggle and kiss and sing to his little sister. he's going to be a great big brother and i can't wait to see my little ones together.
next up was cleaning out the top drawer of nightstand. leaky gripe water is icky. we got new tylenol (the target brand cause i'm still mad at target for making me replace all my tylenol!) and gas drops. they are in place and ready to go.
we installed the car seats. i'm not going to lie - 2 car seats in my honda pilot is kind of scary. we moved ryan over to behind the driver and i hope he doesn't freak out. the passenger seat is way up and i look forward to 6 months or so of squished riding. :)
we still have what seems like miles to go - set up the pack n play, set up pumping (i'm going to try to start early to establish a good supply this time), pack my bag, etc. we have 21 rings left on our paper chain until we're a family of 4. (well, 20 rings, ryan took 2 off today)
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
35 weeks
Pregnancy: 35 weeks
Weight Gain: i weighed myself once since the last OB appointment. it scared me, so i'm in the denial stage now.
Sleep: this takes tired to a whole new level...
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :)
Feeling: anxious. 3 weeks and 6 days from now i'll have 2 kiddos. there is a lot to do between now and then!
Cravings: raspberry sundaes from culvers
Health: good, although i'm in way more pain than i thought i would be. apparently my body didn't get the memo that it doesn't need to widen for birth. oh well, the days are numbered!
Movement: lots and lots!
Belly: i honestly think that it's going to sound like a balloon popping when they cut into me.
Next Appointment: april 6th. i will be 35 weeks, 2 days. they're calling it my 34 week appointment....
Weight Gain: i weighed myself once since the last OB appointment. it scared me, so i'm in the denial stage now.
Sleep: this takes tired to a whole new level...
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :)
Feeling: anxious. 3 weeks and 6 days from now i'll have 2 kiddos. there is a lot to do between now and then!
Cravings: raspberry sundaes from culvers
Health: good, although i'm in way more pain than i thought i would be. apparently my body didn't get the memo that it doesn't need to widen for birth. oh well, the days are numbered!
Movement: lots and lots!
Belly: i honestly think that it's going to sound like a balloon popping when they cut into me.
Next Appointment: april 6th. i will be 35 weeks, 2 days. they're calling it my 34 week appointment....
Saturday, April 02, 2011
random stuff
today has been painful. my stomach hurts. my butt hurts. my neck hurts. everything hurts. putting my shoes on is a joke. i have found myself wishing for warmer weather, just so i can wear slip on shoes! but alas, 4 weeks more to go. i foresee much more time on the couch in the near future.....
this weekend has been awesome. scott and jess (www.scottandjessica.net) came to visit and have our annual tax party. they got in at dinner time last night and we enjoyed some great company, complete with conversations about the judical retention election in iowa. this morning we drove around and looked at the lots we like (still no decision on whether we'll be able to get the lot we have an accepted offer for!), which was doubly productive as michael thought our 2nd choice lot was actually totally different than the lot that is actually our 2nd choice. lunch at la fuente (can't go wrong there!), watched tangled while monkey slept, played in scott's TT, and did some sliding. good times with lots of laughs. kind of makes me miss college. :)
ryan has been amazing. he's in a great mood and it's been awesome. tonight he hung out with me when i was taking a bath (trying to ease the pain!) and we sang and talked and had a great time. afterwards, he climbed in with me to get clean and we had quite the splashfest. he kept dumping cups of water over my head. it was a mess, but there was no way i was going to stop him. that's what pure joy feels like.
one final thought - as i was sitting around the other day, i was contemplating bringing the baby home from the hospital. is it better to have ryan home or to have ryan at daycare so we can get settled? i thought about how exciting it would be for us to go to the hospital and bring home his little sister. i was picturing everything in my head. until i remembered that babies generally come home with their mommies - i'm not going to be here to go to the hospital with him. i'm not going to come home and then go back to get my baby.
this weekend has been awesome. scott and jess (www.scottandjessica.net) came to visit and have our annual tax party. they got in at dinner time last night and we enjoyed some great company, complete with conversations about the judical retention election in iowa. this morning we drove around and looked at the lots we like (still no decision on whether we'll be able to get the lot we have an accepted offer for!), which was doubly productive as michael thought our 2nd choice lot was actually totally different than the lot that is actually our 2nd choice. lunch at la fuente (can't go wrong there!), watched tangled while monkey slept, played in scott's TT, and did some sliding. good times with lots of laughs. kind of makes me miss college. :)
ryan has been amazing. he's in a great mood and it's been awesome. tonight he hung out with me when i was taking a bath (trying to ease the pain!) and we sang and talked and had a great time. afterwards, he climbed in with me to get clean and we had quite the splashfest. he kept dumping cups of water over my head. it was a mess, but there was no way i was going to stop him. that's what pure joy feels like.
one final thought - as i was sitting around the other day, i was contemplating bringing the baby home from the hospital. is it better to have ryan home or to have ryan at daycare so we can get settled? i thought about how exciting it would be for us to go to the hospital and bring home his little sister. i was picturing everything in my head. until i remembered that babies generally come home with their mommies - i'm not going to be here to go to the hospital with him. i'm not going to come home and then go back to get my baby.
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