Saturday, July 28, 2012

not stress

turns out i do not have a stress fracture. instead i have exertional compartment syndrome, which essentially means that the muscle on the outside of my right leg gets aggravated and swells, causing numbness and shin pain. that, coupled with some residual healing from an unfortunate incident with a clothing rack, has been named the culprit. treatment plan - rest, ice, and ibuprofen as needed. no big deal. i have officially been taken off all restrictions and can resume my training. now to find the motivation.....

just breathe

i got a call from rogers memorial last night. they will have a spot for me in their outpatient treatment program soon. i will find out just how soon on monday. until then i can be found at home, freaking out. i visited a doctor a month or so ago to do a "hierarchy." basically we spent 3 hours discussing my craziness and determining the best way to torture me to make it better. it was during those 3 hours that i realized that this treatment program is going to be HARD. like scary hard. like hyperventilating hard. like i'm probably going to freak out on more than one occasion hard. HARD. i have essentially signed myself up for 3 hours of torture, 4 times a week, for anywhere from 3-8 weeks. i am sooo excited for the opportunity and even more excited to be "fixed," but i'm so scared for the journey. but i have to do this. for myself, for michael, and, most importantly, for ryan and ellen. they deserve to have their mommy at 100%. as someone much smarter than myself once said, no one said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


I jinxed myself. I made it to week 6, day 1 and now I'm on the injured reserve list.
Back when I began this journey I was experiencing some pain in my right shin. I figured it was shin splints and took it as an opportunity for some new shoes. The shoes helped, but my shin is still super tender, which is a problem with 2 kids and 2 dogs running into it constantly. Then it started having this weird numb feeling, kind of like someone dragging a string across my leg and that was the final straw. To the doctor.
As I expected, he thinks I have a stress fracture. And, also as expected, the X-ray showed nothing. I go in on Tuesday for a bone scan to try to diagnose and determine the severity. 8am appointment for the injection and 11am appointment for the scan.
I'm upset. I made it to week 6! Of 8! I was doing soooo well. And now I'm out for the foreseeable future and inevitably will use to go back. And while my motivation is still there now, who knows how it will fade in the indeterminate amount of time I will need to take off. Not to mention the somewhat huge inconvenience potential crutches or a cast would be with 2 little people to haul around.
I suppose it will all work itself out. And it's not the destination that I'm looking for, it's the journey.

Sent from my iPhone