Out with the old

The time has come for us to purge all of our baby stuff. As it turns out, we have accumulated quite a bit of non-baby stuff during our 6 years in Wisconsin as well!
I took some time and made a pile (aka third stall of the garage) of all of the things we need to sell. I am using the craigslist app on my phone and as of tonight, I finally have everything listed!
We've been getting tons of interest, but have found that very few people follow through to pick-up. To say it's frustrating is an understatement. As of today, I've sold $155. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will sell another $45. Which makes us $200 closer to our Disney world trip.
About that - we are planning to go to disney for ryan's birthday in December. I know Ellen will be too young to remember and it's possible Ryan won't remember either, but I think it will be amazing no matter what. And given Ryan remembers that my elementary school was octagon shaped (a topic we hadn't discussed in months), I think the odds are in our favor. I have figured it all out and have everything planned in my head. Everything bookmarked on google chrome. Guides are read. And we only have 9 months to go! :)

Sent from my iPhone

fear

i am happy. so happy. the things i would change about my life are so minuscule that i don't even feel justified in listing them. and i'm terrified.
you see, two times in my life i have stopped and said to myself "this is it, i have everything i need. i can breathe easy for awhile!" and two times the rug has been pulled out from underneath me.
the first was the day ryan died. i was in law school in a beautiful city and had just started dating michael. i already suspected that we'd be in it for the long haul. i was happy. and then ryan died and my world crumbled.
the second was thanksgiving 2008. i had a husband, 2 dogs, a house, and was 32 weeks pregnant with ryan despite the odds. the next day i started bleeding and the downward spiral to his birth began.
so here i am, happy, but scared to admit it. for fear that it will all end.