Thursday, August 25, 2011

OCD study

I am currently participating in a study at UWM for OCD. It's a computer program that works to help a person inhibit their brain from clicking a button. There have been 7 training sessions and I completed it today.
Then I got a text from daycare letting me know Ryan threw up. Cue crazy anxiety and mommy guilt for not being the best mom i feel I can in this situation. Four or so pukes later and I finally feel like I can breathe (3 hours later). I'm going to say that it didn't really work. Darn it.

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Friday, August 12, 2011


I pumped for Ryan for 5 months. The intention was to give him frozen milk for the last month, but it didn't smell right so Michael dumped it. He was supplemented with formula from day 1. I had no choice, the nicu just did it. And getting out of the nicu was more important than being exclusively breastfed.
Ellen has not had anything other than breastmilk. Well, except the barium for her upper gi, but that doesn't count. I have been able to breastfeeding through a ridiculously painful injury that required the type of ointment they use on burn victims and nearly 12 weeks to heal. It hasn't been a walk in the park, but I think we finally have the hang of it. Enter a new challenge - pumping.
The first week back I pumped 1 ounce more than she took each day. Hooray! Second week - still and extra ounce! Third week - not so lucky. I am short an ounce a day.
So I asked my preemie mom friends for help. I have added a pumping in the morning, started taking motherslove more milk plus special blend (a combination of herbs), used the letdown button on my pump, added 5 minutes to my pumping session and am drinking more than I ever have. This morning my bladder hurt ( a lot really) from being too full.
Today I am back to making enough milk. I might accidentally drown myself in the process, but we're getting there!

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