Monday, May 14, 2012
progress
i am done being crazy. i am done freaking out every time one of the kids coughs. and, now that i'm done breastfeeding, i can pursue other options for treatment.
i have been accepted into an outpatient treatment program through rogers memorial hospital. as it turns out, a nationally recognized OCD treatment program is in my backyard. well, oconomowoc, but still pretty close. and they opened another campus even closer, which is a big deal given that the program is quite intensive. i will undergo talk and exposure therapy, as well as drug management, 3 hours a day, 4 days a week,, for 3-5 weeks.
i am excited and scared at the same time. i know this isn't going to be an easy road. but, at the same time, this is the first time i will have the experience of getting help from people that are experienced with my type of illness. my OCD doesn't present typically - i don't have rituals or "normal" triggers. i don't wash my hands a thousand times a day and i'm not freaked out by tangible things. i'm freaked out by situations which i imagine will be hard to replicate. i am anxious to see how they handle it.
i also took the opportunity to see a hypnotist. i found him on livingsocial and we have met once. we did a relaxation session and i believe i was hypnotized, which surprised me. i figured that someone with control issues would have a hard time. we are meeting again on friday to work through the OCD stuff and see if we can make any progress.
i am hopeful that this is the beginning of the end. i am hopeful that someday soon i can live my life without constant worry and anxiety.
The End
after 1 year and 12 days, i am done breastfeeding. it is bittersweet. it was hard. it hurt like nothing i've ever experienced. it was inconvenient. it was exhausting. but it was my time with my little girl. my time to sit with her and watch her big blue eyes. i will miss my special time with her, but i am happy to finally have my body back 100%!
Monday, April 02, 2012
Be all that you can be
I have mastitis. I feel feverish and my breast is extremely tender. I have a call into my ob and pcp. God willing, one of them will take pity on my soul and just call in a script. Until then, I will continue alternating between being so hot I can't stand it and so cold my teeth chatter.
In other news, Ryan threw up this morning. He told me he was going to poop and instead said he puked. We didn't believe him as he was acting normal and neither of us saw anything. Then he did it again downstairs for good measure. At least he hit the toilet both times. He has had a cracker and a sip of juice and can be heard playing in the next room.
It never ceases to amaze me how hard this is for me. Within minutes of the words "my belly hurts" (tmi) my stomach insists on being emptied. I cry. I hate this in a way that is indescribable. The logical side of me knows that there is nothing terrible happening and that we will weather this storm as usual. The OCD side of me can't grasp it, no matter what. The OCD side of me wants to run away from my child when he doesn't feel well and it breaks my heart. It kills me that, no matter what, I'm not strong enough to push through my own issues to be the best mom for him. That i will spend the next week over analyzing every move he makes or doesn't make. That I won't be able to fully relax and enjoy him.
Sometimes I don't know what's worse, the anxiety or the guilt. Actually, strike that, I know. The guilt of not being able to be the mom my son deserves will always be worse.
In other news, Ryan threw up this morning. He told me he was going to poop and instead said he puked. We didn't believe him as he was acting normal and neither of us saw anything. Then he did it again downstairs for good measure. At least he hit the toilet both times. He has had a cracker and a sip of juice and can be heard playing in the next room.
It never ceases to amaze me how hard this is for me. Within minutes of the words "my belly hurts" (tmi) my stomach insists on being emptied. I cry. I hate this in a way that is indescribable. The logical side of me knows that there is nothing terrible happening and that we will weather this storm as usual. The OCD side of me can't grasp it, no matter what. The OCD side of me wants to run away from my child when he doesn't feel well and it breaks my heart. It kills me that, no matter what, I'm not strong enough to push through my own issues to be the best mom for him. That i will spend the next week over analyzing every move he makes or doesn't make. That I won't be able to fully relax and enjoy him.
Sometimes I don't know what's worse, the anxiety or the guilt. Actually, strike that, I know. The guilt of not being able to be the mom my son deserves will always be worse.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Happy valentine's day!
Updates
We have been busy. Busy finding a preschool for Ryan. Busy chasing a very fast Ellen. Busy selling stuff. Busy working. Busy organizing. Busy enjoying ourselves.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Out with the old
The time has come for us to purge all of our baby stuff. As it turns out, we have accumulated quite a bit of non-baby stuff during our 6 years in Wisconsin as well!
I took some time and made a pile (aka third stall of the garage) of all of the things we need to sell. I am using the craigslist app on my phone and as of tonight, I finally have everything listed!
We've been getting tons of interest, but have found that very few people follow through to pick-up. To say it's frustrating is an understatement. As of today, I've sold $155. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will sell another $45. Which makes us $200 closer to our Disney world trip.
About that - we are planning to go to disney for ryan's birthday in December. I know Ellen will be too young to remember and it's possible Ryan won't remember either, but I think it will be amazing no matter what. And given Ryan remembers that my elementary school was octagon shaped (a topic we hadn't discussed in months), I think the odds are in our favor. I have figured it all out and have everything planned in my head. Everything bookmarked on google chrome. Guides are read. And we only have 9 months to go! :)
I took some time and made a pile (aka third stall of the garage) of all of the things we need to sell. I am using the craigslist app on my phone and as of tonight, I finally have everything listed!
We've been getting tons of interest, but have found that very few people follow through to pick-up. To say it's frustrating is an understatement. As of today, I've sold $155. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will sell another $45. Which makes us $200 closer to our Disney world trip.
About that - we are planning to go to disney for ryan's birthday in December. I know Ellen will be too young to remember and it's possible Ryan won't remember either, but I think it will be amazing no matter what. And given Ryan remembers that my elementary school was octagon shaped (a topic we hadn't discussed in months), I think the odds are in our favor. I have figured it all out and have everything planned in my head. Everything bookmarked on google chrome. Guides are read. And we only have 9 months to go! :)
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, January 05, 2012
fear
i am happy. so happy. the things i would change about my life are so minuscule that i don't even feel justified in listing them. and i'm terrified.
you see, two times in my life i have stopped and said to myself "this is it, i have everything i need. i can breathe easy for awhile!" and two times the rug has been pulled out from underneath me.
the first was the day ryan died. i was in law school in a beautiful city and had just started dating michael. i already suspected that we'd be in it for the long haul. i was happy. and then ryan died and my world crumbled.
the second was thanksgiving 2008. i had a husband, 2 dogs, a house, and was 32 weeks pregnant with ryan despite the odds. the next day i started bleeding and the downward spiral to his birth began.
so here i am, happy, but scared to admit it. for fear that it will all end.
you see, two times in my life i have stopped and said to myself "this is it, i have everything i need. i can breathe easy for awhile!" and two times the rug has been pulled out from underneath me.
the first was the day ryan died. i was in law school in a beautiful city and had just started dating michael. i already suspected that we'd be in it for the long haul. i was happy. and then ryan died and my world crumbled.
the second was thanksgiving 2008. i had a husband, 2 dogs, a house, and was 32 weeks pregnant with ryan despite the odds. the next day i started bleeding and the downward spiral to his birth began.
so here i am, happy, but scared to admit it. for fear that it will all end.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The good. The bad. And the ugly.
2011 was a pretty crazy year, filled with insane ups and downs. In some senses, it was one of our best. In others, one of our hardest.
We started off by counting the days until viability with Ellen. An unexplained bleeding incident in early December had us scared and the situation would go either way - it was either something awful that would likely lead to is losing the pregnancy or it was nothing. Thank god it was nothing.
We sold our house. When we went to get the check for closing, the teller told us congratulations on buying a new house. It hurt to tell her that we were paying that much to sell our house!
And then began moving our entire house into a tiny apartment and storage unit with a 2 year old. While 24 weeks pregnant and on restrictions.
Our apartment living was difficult. Ryan missed having space to play and we missed having any space at all. But we did enjoy the swimming pool this summer!
We closed on our house, Ellen wad born, and Michael was laid off within 2 weeks. Looking back, I cannot believe we took that as well as we did. But Michael got a great new job and all is well.
Building our house was an intensely frustrating process. I know that I tend to micromanage and that plays into it. Now, 3 months post move, I finally feel at home and am happy yo have everything (almost) in it's place.
Ryan gave us some new parenting challenges this year, easily winning the "most difficult McFarlane" title for 2011. Pretty impressive considering his competition was a newborn for a good portion of the year. But he has returned to the awesome little guy we know and love and is exclusively using the potty.
We had an awesome vacation camping with Erin, Nate, Cole, and Grant. Everyone thought we were nuts taking a 4 month old camping, but she loved it and we had a blast.
We survived 2 stomach bugs within 3 months and my anxiety was much better than expected.
Our families faced illness and all appear to have luckily won their battles. We welcomed Maura into the family and enjoy having a partner in crime for Ellen.
Fellow preemie moms experienced loss beyond words and we all cried together. We celebrated each milestone as our kids kicked prematurity's butt.
I can't say that I'm sad to see 2011 go - it's been a wild ride. Here's to a boring 2012!
We started off by counting the days until viability with Ellen. An unexplained bleeding incident in early December had us scared and the situation would go either way - it was either something awful that would likely lead to is losing the pregnancy or it was nothing. Thank god it was nothing.
We sold our house. When we went to get the check for closing, the teller told us congratulations on buying a new house. It hurt to tell her that we were paying that much to sell our house!
And then began moving our entire house into a tiny apartment and storage unit with a 2 year old. While 24 weeks pregnant and on restrictions.
Our apartment living was difficult. Ryan missed having space to play and we missed having any space at all. But we did enjoy the swimming pool this summer!
We closed on our house, Ellen wad born, and Michael was laid off within 2 weeks. Looking back, I cannot believe we took that as well as we did. But Michael got a great new job and all is well.
Building our house was an intensely frustrating process. I know that I tend to micromanage and that plays into it. Now, 3 months post move, I finally feel at home and am happy yo have everything (almost) in it's place.
Ryan gave us some new parenting challenges this year, easily winning the "most difficult McFarlane" title for 2011. Pretty impressive considering his competition was a newborn for a good portion of the year. But he has returned to the awesome little guy we know and love and is exclusively using the potty.
We had an awesome vacation camping with Erin, Nate, Cole, and Grant. Everyone thought we were nuts taking a 4 month old camping, but she loved it and we had a blast.
We survived 2 stomach bugs within 3 months and my anxiety was much better than expected.
Our families faced illness and all appear to have luckily won their battles. We welcomed Maura into the family and enjoy having a partner in crime for Ellen.
Fellow preemie moms experienced loss beyond words and we all cried together. We celebrated each milestone as our kids kicked prematurity's butt.
I can't say that I'm sad to see 2011 go - it's been a wild ride. Here's to a boring 2012!
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, December 05, 2011
SOS
Friday, December 02, 2011
Happy birthday eve monkey
Ryan's birthday will always be the best and worst day of my life. Which sucks. No one wants that.
This year has been easier. No dwelling on where I was last year or the year before. No crying. Just excitement about celebrating.
Until today. All of a sudden I wasn't feeling very well. Then I was feeling awful. I was scared my stomach bug was back. And then i was crying. Sobbing crying. I didn't want to cancel. I didn't want to miss ryan's party. I didn't want to screw up his third birthday the way I screwed up his day of birth.
and then it hit me - every time I think of anything about his birthday, I get nauseous. It is clearly anxiety. And in all the chaos of the last week, I didn't have time to think about these milestones. Until they hit me all at once, like a ton of bricks.
I was alone in my hospital room 3 years ago tonight, hunkering down for another 7 weeks. Contemplating the holidays in antepartum and missing my pups. Changing my cell phone plan to include my blackberry as a wireless modem. And none of it mattered - my baby boy was here 24 hours later.
Tomorrow, instead of being bedridden in a hospital, scared out of my mind, I will be at ryan's 3rd birthday party, watching him climb things and being scared of him falling. The sting of his prematurity will never go away, but it will always remind me of how lucky I am to have what I do today.
Happy birthday eve monkey man. I love you.
This year has been easier. No dwelling on where I was last year or the year before. No crying. Just excitement about celebrating.
Until today. All of a sudden I wasn't feeling very well. Then I was feeling awful. I was scared my stomach bug was back. And then i was crying. Sobbing crying. I didn't want to cancel. I didn't want to miss ryan's party. I didn't want to screw up his third birthday the way I screwed up his day of birth.
and then it hit me - every time I think of anything about his birthday, I get nauseous. It is clearly anxiety. And in all the chaos of the last week, I didn't have time to think about these milestones. Until they hit me all at once, like a ton of bricks.
I was alone in my hospital room 3 years ago tonight, hunkering down for another 7 weeks. Contemplating the holidays in antepartum and missing my pups. Changing my cell phone plan to include my blackberry as a wireless modem. And none of it mattered - my baby boy was here 24 hours later.
Tomorrow, instead of being bedridden in a hospital, scared out of my mind, I will be at ryan's 3rd birthday party, watching him climb things and being scared of him falling. The sting of his prematurity will never go away, but it will always remind me of how lucky I am to have what I do today.
Happy birthday eve monkey man. I love you.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, December 01, 2011
pukefest 2011
is the title crass? yep. but honestly, it's way nicer than the actual experience was!
a couple of weeks ago, ryan got strep. there were 2 puke incidents. but then he was better! hooray!
then ellen puked twice on friday. oh well, all the kids at daycare had randomly thrown up at least once, so that must be her turn.
and then it became clear as day that we were under attack. no carpet, towel, sheet, clothing item, pet, or parent was safe.....
i took ryan to his well doctor appointment on monday afternoon. he weighed in at a solid 39lbs and is 42 inches tall. his weight is off the chart, his height is all the way up by where you write your name on the chart. he got a clean bill of health, we got some noodles, he went to nap, i went to work in the office.
and then it began - ryan began throwing up every 15-30 minutes. normally, especially after the incidents described above, i would freak out. my feet would immediately go numb and my stomach would be upset. instead, i handled it quite well.
but then it didn't stop. around 8pm, there were small flecks of blood in his vomit. ok, i know what isn't supposed to be in vomit, and blood is one of them. i called our doctor and she suggested that he go to the ER. michael took him in and after a few doses of zofran and some ice chips, he finally stopped.
and then i got it.
and then michael got it.
i'm thinking ellen's had to have been friday, right? nope.
i picked the kids up from daycare yesterday (which includes a very lengthy story about cleaning up even more puke that didn't belong to a mcfarlane, but that's for a different time) and i just had a feeling. it was the first time i was anxious.
i'm beginning to think anxiety might just be intuition instead.....
ryan puked again.
and then ellen puked again.
i went to walgreens at 10:45pm to pick up some pedialyte for miss ellen as the bottle we already had was surely turned into baby poison immediately upon entering its 49th hour of hanging out in my fridge. the cashier told me to have a good day.
i'm at walgreens at 10:45pm.
in sweatpants and glasses.
buying only pedialyte.
sir, i think it's safe to say that the "good day" ship has sailed and left me drowning in its wake.
but i appreciate the sentiment.
it is now 4:09pm on december 1st, and by my count, there has been no vomit in my life during the month of december. and, with a little luck and a lot of hand sanitizer, it will stay that way.
a couple of weeks ago, ryan got strep. there were 2 puke incidents. but then he was better! hooray!
then ellen puked twice on friday. oh well, all the kids at daycare had randomly thrown up at least once, so that must be her turn.
and then it became clear as day that we were under attack. no carpet, towel, sheet, clothing item, pet, or parent was safe.....
i took ryan to his well doctor appointment on monday afternoon. he weighed in at a solid 39lbs and is 42 inches tall. his weight is off the chart, his height is all the way up by where you write your name on the chart. he got a clean bill of health, we got some noodles, he went to nap, i went to work in the office.
and then it began - ryan began throwing up every 15-30 minutes. normally, especially after the incidents described above, i would freak out. my feet would immediately go numb and my stomach would be upset. instead, i handled it quite well.
but then it didn't stop. around 8pm, there were small flecks of blood in his vomit. ok, i know what isn't supposed to be in vomit, and blood is one of them. i called our doctor and she suggested that he go to the ER. michael took him in and after a few doses of zofran and some ice chips, he finally stopped.
and then i got it.
and then michael got it.
i'm thinking ellen's had to have been friday, right? nope.
i picked the kids up from daycare yesterday (which includes a very lengthy story about cleaning up even more puke that didn't belong to a mcfarlane, but that's for a different time) and i just had a feeling. it was the first time i was anxious.
i'm beginning to think anxiety might just be intuition instead.....
ryan puked again.
and then ellen puked again.
i went to walgreens at 10:45pm to pick up some pedialyte for miss ellen as the bottle we already had was surely turned into baby poison immediately upon entering its 49th hour of hanging out in my fridge. the cashier told me to have a good day.
i'm at walgreens at 10:45pm.
in sweatpants and glasses.
buying only pedialyte.
sir, i think it's safe to say that the "good day" ship has sailed and left me drowning in its wake.
but i appreciate the sentiment.
it is now 4:09pm on december 1st, and by my count, there has been no vomit in my life during the month of december. and, with a little luck and a lot of hand sanitizer, it will stay that way.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
the last thankful post
well, that's probably not true as i'm sure i'll be thankful for something again, but you know what i mean!
day 25 - i am also thankful for tradition. instead of dwelling on the past, we now spend black friday decorating the tree. ryan LOVES the christmas tree. ellen seems to enjoy it as well. every ornament was "that's so pretty momma" and every placement was contemplated. granted, they all ended up in the same place, but he thought very hard about it. :) he picked a very bright, glittery red star for the top from target and loves it.
we put our old, smaller tree in ryan's room and he loves it. there is no more innocent sight than a sleeping child in the light of christmas tree lights.
as our family of 4 was decorating our tree and listening to christmas music in the house we've only dreamed of until now, i couldn't help but stop and think how wonderful life is. dreams can and do come true.
day 26 - i am thankful for family. we have had lots of visitors in our new home and today we hosted my mom and dad, my mom's mom, and my dad's dad. it was fun showing them around our house and watching them interact with the kids. thanksgiving was great with grandpa mac and grandma sue, although the gravy was a bit salty... :)
day 27 - i am thankful for ryan's sense of humor. it never ceases to amaze me what that kid comes up with. on thanksgiving, we were watching the macy's thanksgiving day parade and there was a funny commercial with justin bieber and a bunch of grown men screaming like little girls. i laughed and so ryan thought it was hilarious. for the rest of the day, whenever he would scream, we'd yell "justin bieber!" and he would laugh and laugh. eventually he asked us to scream and would yell "beef & beaver!" which was even more hilarious. we spent about 30 minutes at the dinner table yelling. it's moments like those.
day 28 - i am thankful we live so close to a wonderful childrens' hospital. ryan was throwing up quite a bit and so we took him in. they took great care of him and get everything under control.
day 29 - i am thankful for the television. michael and i were both sick with the same stomach bug and ran was kind enough to entertain himself almost exclusively the entire day. he even ventured into the playroom and played a bit!
day 30 - i am thankful that i made it through pukefest 2011. in the last 2 weeks, ryan has had 3 separate vomiting incidents, ellen has had 1, i have had 1, and michael has been quite queasy. i have only had mild anxiety to this point and i am more than relieved. tonight has been a bit rough, but with the end in sight, i can live with that.
and with that, november draws to a close. bring on december!!!
day 25 - i am also thankful for tradition. instead of dwelling on the past, we now spend black friday decorating the tree. ryan LOVES the christmas tree. ellen seems to enjoy it as well. every ornament was "that's so pretty momma" and every placement was contemplated. granted, they all ended up in the same place, but he thought very hard about it. :) he picked a very bright, glittery red star for the top from target and loves it.
we put our old, smaller tree in ryan's room and he loves it. there is no more innocent sight than a sleeping child in the light of christmas tree lights.
as our family of 4 was decorating our tree and listening to christmas music in the house we've only dreamed of until now, i couldn't help but stop and think how wonderful life is. dreams can and do come true.
day 26 - i am thankful for family. we have had lots of visitors in our new home and today we hosted my mom and dad, my mom's mom, and my dad's dad. it was fun showing them around our house and watching them interact with the kids. thanksgiving was great with grandpa mac and grandma sue, although the gravy was a bit salty... :)
day 27 - i am thankful for ryan's sense of humor. it never ceases to amaze me what that kid comes up with. on thanksgiving, we were watching the macy's thanksgiving day parade and there was a funny commercial with justin bieber and a bunch of grown men screaming like little girls. i laughed and so ryan thought it was hilarious. for the rest of the day, whenever he would scream, we'd yell "justin bieber!" and he would laugh and laugh. eventually he asked us to scream and would yell "beef & beaver!" which was even more hilarious. we spent about 30 minutes at the dinner table yelling. it's moments like those.
day 28 - i am thankful we live so close to a wonderful childrens' hospital. ryan was throwing up quite a bit and so we took him in. they took great care of him and get everything under control.
day 29 - i am thankful for the television. michael and i were both sick with the same stomach bug and ran was kind enough to entertain himself almost exclusively the entire day. he even ventured into the playroom and played a bit!
day 30 - i am thankful that i made it through pukefest 2011. in the last 2 weeks, ryan has had 3 separate vomiting incidents, ellen has had 1, i have had 1, and michael has been quite queasy. i have only had mild anxiety to this point and i am more than relieved. tonight has been a bit rough, but with the end in sight, i can live with that.
and with that, november draws to a close. bring on december!!!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
thankful - day 24
not only am i thankful for my kids as individuals, i'm thankful that i've been blessed with 2. when we were undergoing infertility treatments with ryan, it was difficult. i figured it wouldn't be so bad the second time around because at least we had ryan. in fact, it was harder. it killed me that i wasn't sure whether we'd be able to give him a sibling. and i thank god every day that we could.
they way they look at each other is amazing. they have a bond that no one else can understand. tonight, ellen was crying (which is rare, i know, i'm lucky) and ryan dropped what he was doing and ryan into the room yelling "ellen's crying! it's an emergency!" i often catch him telling her she's pretty or that he loves her. and the way she looks at him is incredible.
there are days when i wonder what i was thinking having 1 kid, no less 2. but then i see them together and it makes all the difference.
happy thanksgiving!!!
they way they look at each other is amazing. they have a bond that no one else can understand. tonight, ellen was crying (which is rare, i know, i'm lucky) and ryan dropped what he was doing and ryan into the room yelling "ellen's crying! it's an emergency!" i often catch him telling her she's pretty or that he loves her. and the way she looks at him is incredible.
there are days when i wonder what i was thinking having 1 kid, no less 2. but then i see them together and it makes all the difference.
happy thanksgiving!!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankful catch up!
Ryan got strep. I got a sore throat. After the sinus infection that came back 3 times. But enough with the excuses.
Day 14 - butler. He was my first baby. He has been with Michael and I since before we were Michael and I.
Day 15 - Molly. She is my first baby girl. She loves without condition and is understanding of my impatience.
Day 16 - I am thankful for the opportunity to have known all my grandparents and to have lived close to all of them. Every now and again there are things that pop up that remind me of the time I was blessed to spend with them.
Day 17 - I am thankful for my preemie momma friends. I have never met such a truly amazing and strong group of women. There's something comforting to know that someone has your back, always. I may not love why we know each other, but I love that we do.
Day 18 - I love my house. It is exactly what I wanted. Everything in its place. Or at least it will be.
Day 19 - I am thankful for my friends. No matter how much tome has passed, it's like we were together yesterday.
Day 20 - I am thankful to have been able to breastfeed as long as I have. Not so thankful for the pumping, but you win some, you lose some.
Day 21 - I am thankful I have a good job. Sometimes I get frustrated, but there are plenty of people that don't have that luxury.
Day 22 - I am thankful for sweatpants. Ummmmm, comfy!
Day 23 - I'm thankful for good tv. Sometimes it's nice to relax!
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Thankful-days 11-13
I have a lot to be thankful for!
- veterans. Andrew, my grandparents, and ryan (Daack) most of all. In the past few years, I've known several men who were deployed and have seen the effects of their absence on their families. I am also thankful for the selfless people who step up when these brave men and women go off to fight.
- my dad. It's was his birthday on veterans' day. He is me, but in old man form. :) we don't often fight, but when we do, it's epic. I see so much of him in Ryan and I can't imagine a better man for Ryan to emulate.
- days off. I get veterans' day off and so I spent the day with the kiddos. While I love my job (most days) and know I would be a terrible stay at home mom, it's nice to have days where my only job is to take care of Ryan and Ellen.
- healthy babies! On of the amazing preemie mommies that I have the easier to know had her baby girl yesterday at 35 weeks and 2 days. While it might not seem like much, she fought for every minute that baby spent inside. And she has a beautiful, healthy baby girl who gets to room in. That might not seem like much, but for someone who hasn't had that experience, it's amazing. Congrats trish!
- veterans. Andrew, my grandparents, and ryan (Daack) most of all. In the past few years, I've known several men who were deployed and have seen the effects of their absence on their families. I am also thankful for the selfless people who step up when these brave men and women go off to fight.
- my dad. It's was his birthday on veterans' day. He is me, but in old man form. :) we don't often fight, but when we do, it's epic. I see so much of him in Ryan and I can't imagine a better man for Ryan to emulate.
- days off. I get veterans' day off and so I spent the day with the kiddos. While I love my job (most days) and know I would be a terrible stay at home mom, it's nice to have days where my only job is to take care of Ryan and Ellen.
- healthy babies! On of the amazing preemie mommies that I have the easier to know had her baby girl yesterday at 35 weeks and 2 days. While it might not seem like much, she fought for every minute that baby spent inside. And she has a beautiful, healthy baby girl who gets to room in. That might not seem like much, but for someone who hasn't had that experience, it's amazing. Congrats trish!
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, November 10, 2011
thankful days 9 & 10
i am thankful for my bathtub. it's glorious. there's not much better than sitting in a warm tub with a gentle, cool breeze coming in from the outside. especially when the warm breeze smells like fireplace. yum.
i am thankful for mountain dew. not because of the caffeine, but because of the delicious taste.
i am thankful for mountain dew. not because of the caffeine, but because of the delicious taste.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Thankful 7 & 8
I'll start with today, cause it's shorter.
Tonight, I'm thankful for tub time. Tonight I climbed into the big tub with Ryan, Ellen, and some glow sticks. Add the jets and it's a pretty good time.
Tonight, I'm thankful for tub time. Tonight I climbed into the big tub with Ryan, Ellen, and some glow sticks. Add the jets and it's a pretty good time.
Now, back to yesterday. I got a text from our daycare at about noon asking where ellen's milk could be. Um, in my fridge because Michael forgot it. I started rushing around getting ready to go, all the while contemplating what I was going to say to Michael when I called him. And then I figured out where my keys were. In the back of the car. The locked car (in my only defense, Michael locked it, not me). So here I am. At home with no keys and a baby that needs milk any minute. I called Erin and she came to my rescue and let me borrow her van. Michael met me at daycare and gave me his key to my car. Ellen was none the wiser.
So yesterday I was thankful for Erin for saving me.
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Sunday, November 06, 2011
Teeth!
Ok, a tooth. Ellen's first tooth finally popped through. With Ryan, he'd come home from daycare with a new tooth we never realized was coming. With Ellen, we've been waiting quite awhile. Her other bottom tooth shouldn't be far behind! No more toothless babes in this house!
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Thankful - days 5 & 6
Yesterday was nuts and I was busy enjoying it, so no time to post.
Yesterday I was thankful for days like yesterday. We went to discovery world and had a great time. I love seeing the smile on ryan's face when he's really enjoying himself. I am thankful for family time.
Today I am thankful for my parents. I'd go into detail about how they are the best parents ever, but you probably wouldn't believe me and be all like, "no, my parents are better!" and you'd be wrong, so we'll just skip it. You know, so you're not embarrassed by being totally incorrect. :) but trust me, they rock.
Yesterday I was thankful for days like yesterday. We went to discovery world and had a great time. I love seeing the smile on ryan's face when he's really enjoying himself. I am thankful for family time.
Today I am thankful for my parents. I'd go into detail about how they are the best parents ever, but you probably wouldn't believe me and be all like, "no, my parents are better!" and you'd be wrong, so we'll just skip it. You know, so you're not embarrassed by being totally incorrect. :) but trust me, they rock.
Sent from my iPhone
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