Monday, May 14, 2012

progress

i am done being crazy. i am done freaking out every time one of the kids coughs. and, now that i'm done breastfeeding, i can pursue other options for treatment. i have been accepted into an outpatient treatment program through rogers memorial hospital. as it turns out, a nationally recognized OCD treatment program is in my backyard. well, oconomowoc, but still pretty close. and they opened another campus even closer, which is a big deal given that the program is quite intensive. i will undergo talk and exposure therapy, as well as drug management, 3 hours a day, 4 days a week,, for 3-5 weeks. i am excited and scared at the same time. i know this isn't going to be an easy road. but, at the same time, this is the first time i will have the experience of getting help from people that are experienced with my type of illness. my OCD doesn't present typically - i don't have rituals or "normal" triggers. i don't wash my hands a thousand times a day and i'm not freaked out by tangible things. i'm freaked out by situations which i imagine will be hard to replicate. i am anxious to see how they handle it. i also took the opportunity to see a hypnotist. i found him on livingsocial and we have met once. we did a relaxation session and i believe i was hypnotized, which surprised me. i figured that someone with control issues would have a hard time. we are meeting again on friday to work through the OCD stuff and see if we can make any progress. i am hopeful that this is the beginning of the end. i am hopeful that someday soon i can live my life without constant worry and anxiety.

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