ok, so now it's starting to seem real. i can't believe we're already 25 weeks. things go so much faster with the second one. i don't have time to sit aroun and ponder the upcoming changes. and with moving added in, there's just so much to do!
Pregnancy: 25 weeks
Weight Gain: who knows at this point!
Sleep: same
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) ryan is getting very good with the name now and recognizes that it's his baby sister. super cute.
Feeling: much better this week.
Cravings: nothing too much. honestly, my appetite has been crap since i got sick.
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: i can see it on the outside now. she likes to hide from michael though!
Belly: getting bigger by the day. i'm definitely growing more "out" with her, while i was more wide with ryan. i did have someone tell me i was "tiny" for 24 weeks. i've never had anyone say i was tiny anywhere!
Next Appointment: valentines day for my 28 week appointment. although i get to go in for my gestational diabetes test a week before that. hooray!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
mixed emotions
we sold our house. finally. after almost an entire year on the market. we are going to build - a dream michael and i have shared since we lived in colorado. we are going to have plenty of space - a room for each of the kids, a guest room/bath, a playroom, an office, a garage that both cars fit in comfortably, enough space to host family events. i can actually picture hosting thanksgiving in our new dining room. we are going to settle into our brand new house as a brand new family of 6 and i can't wait to finally relax and enjoy life.
i never loved this house. it wasn't the "you'll know it when you see it" house - it was the "oh crap, our lease is up and this house will work" house. we saw potential, lots of potential. and i think we really worked to make this house meet its potential. unfortunately, even dollar we spent (and then some - well, a lot) disappeared when the market crashed. we've been looking to get out since we got in. i hate the fact that the floors creek. i hate the fact that there are mice in the basement. i hate that there isn't enough room for guests. i hate all sorts of things.
but this is our 1st house. ryan's room has always held a special place in my heart. when we toured the house, i could see how it would look when it was set up for our baby. i cried when we were going through infertility treatments and i wasn't sure if that room would be a reality. i was elated when we finally got to purchase the bedding and paint for our baby. i was devastated when i thought i wouldn't be able to finish decorating because i was on bedrest. i sat in the middle of the room and sobbed as i painted listening to ben folds "the luckiest." i sat in ryan's cuddle chair and pumped for 26 days, angry that i didn't have my baby boy home with me. i sat in the cuddle chair and watched him sleep more times than i can count. i held him in that room on his 1st and 2nd birthdays, at the exact moment of his birth, and remembered it all. michael and i laid on the floor with ryan and laughed till we cried as ryan "fed" us his milk and juice.
there were a lot of great moments here and on some level or another i'll miss this place. but, there are new memories to be made and new moments to be shared. and this time with a little more space. :)
i never loved this house. it wasn't the "you'll know it when you see it" house - it was the "oh crap, our lease is up and this house will work" house. we saw potential, lots of potential. and i think we really worked to make this house meet its potential. unfortunately, even dollar we spent (and then some - well, a lot) disappeared when the market crashed. we've been looking to get out since we got in. i hate the fact that the floors creek. i hate the fact that there are mice in the basement. i hate that there isn't enough room for guests. i hate all sorts of things.
but this is our 1st house. ryan's room has always held a special place in my heart. when we toured the house, i could see how it would look when it was set up for our baby. i cried when we were going through infertility treatments and i wasn't sure if that room would be a reality. i was elated when we finally got to purchase the bedding and paint for our baby. i was devastated when i thought i wouldn't be able to finish decorating because i was on bedrest. i sat in the middle of the room and sobbed as i painted listening to ben folds "the luckiest." i sat in ryan's cuddle chair and pumped for 26 days, angry that i didn't have my baby boy home with me. i sat in the cuddle chair and watched him sleep more times than i can count. i held him in that room on his 1st and 2nd birthdays, at the exact moment of his birth, and remembered it all. michael and i laid on the floor with ryan and laughed till we cried as ryan "fed" us his milk and juice.
there were a lot of great moments here and on some level or another i'll miss this place. but, there are new memories to be made and new moments to be shared. and this time with a little more space. :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
24 weeks!
Pregnancy: 24 weeks
Weight Gain: scratch the close to pre-preg weight thing - i'm down 8lbs total.
Sleep: my hips hurt! i keep getting shakira's hips don't lie in my head....
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) ryan is getting very good with the name now and recognizes that it's his baby sister. super cute.
Feeling: ok, this last week was no joke! i got the flu. you know, the one that you get the flu shot to prevent? apparently i got one of the non-covered 3 strains. boo! fevers and achiness suck. :( finally feeling better today!
Cravings: nothing too much. honestly, my appetite has been crap since i got sick.
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely getting stronger. she's completely oblivious to the fact that i'm sick. i think she's partying in there! :)
Belly: getting bigger by the day. i'm definitely growing more "out" with her, while i was more wide with ryan.
Next Appointment: valentines day for my 28 week appointment. although i get to go in for my gestational diabetes test a week before that. hooray!
Weight Gain: scratch the close to pre-preg weight thing - i'm down 8lbs total.
Sleep: my hips hurt! i keep getting shakira's hips don't lie in my head....
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) ryan is getting very good with the name now and recognizes that it's his baby sister. super cute.
Feeling: ok, this last week was no joke! i got the flu. you know, the one that you get the flu shot to prevent? apparently i got one of the non-covered 3 strains. boo! fevers and achiness suck. :( finally feeling better today!
Cravings: nothing too much. honestly, my appetite has been crap since i got sick.
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely getting stronger. she's completely oblivious to the fact that i'm sick. i think she's partying in there! :)
Belly: getting bigger by the day. i'm definitely growing more "out" with her, while i was more wide with ryan.
Next Appointment: valentines day for my 28 week appointment. although i get to go in for my gestational diabetes test a week before that. hooray!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
karma
since ryan was born, he has been an easy child. slept through the night since he was allowed to, switched to a sippy and milk with no problems, eats anything, only cried when he was hungry, etc.
and then he turned 2.
to say that ryan is difficult when we are out and about is probably the understatement of the year. he won't sit in the cart. he won't sit in the basket of the cart (yes, i've seen the little picture that specifically prohibits such a thing - the person that designed that didn't have a 2 year old and needed to buy milk). he won't hold your hand and walk with you. he won't let you hold him. he won't help you push the cart. what will he do? run up and down the aisle like a crazy man and then lay on the floor and scream when you catch him.
so, what does a "good" mom do in that situation? i'll tell you, before i had a 2 year old, i had all sorts of ideas for what you could do. first of all, my kid would respect me and he would listen when i calmly explained that we don't act that way in public. and, in the off chance that my little angel was having an off day, we would just leave immediately.
that plan sucks. it completely forgets to take into account the fact that 2 year olds are irrational beings and sometimes you just need to get groceries, whether your kid wants to or not.
in the past few weeks, ryan has had time outs at target, panda express, church, and various other establishments. i can't just leave the store - i'm pretty sure that's what he wants. i can't just strap him into the cart - he can actually hulk out of the seatbelt. i can't bribe him - he can't hear me above his own screams. thank god i have an amazing group of mom friends that assure me that this ridiculous behavior is normal.
i tell you though - i owe a lot of moms some serious apologies for judging them at target over the last couple decades.....
and then he turned 2.
to say that ryan is difficult when we are out and about is probably the understatement of the year. he won't sit in the cart. he won't sit in the basket of the cart (yes, i've seen the little picture that specifically prohibits such a thing - the person that designed that didn't have a 2 year old and needed to buy milk). he won't hold your hand and walk with you. he won't let you hold him. he won't help you push the cart. what will he do? run up and down the aisle like a crazy man and then lay on the floor and scream when you catch him.
so, what does a "good" mom do in that situation? i'll tell you, before i had a 2 year old, i had all sorts of ideas for what you could do. first of all, my kid would respect me and he would listen when i calmly explained that we don't act that way in public. and, in the off chance that my little angel was having an off day, we would just leave immediately.
that plan sucks. it completely forgets to take into account the fact that 2 year olds are irrational beings and sometimes you just need to get groceries, whether your kid wants to or not.
in the past few weeks, ryan has had time outs at target, panda express, church, and various other establishments. i can't just leave the store - i'm pretty sure that's what he wants. i can't just strap him into the cart - he can actually hulk out of the seatbelt. i can't bribe him - he can't hear me above his own screams. thank god i have an amazing group of mom friends that assure me that this ridiculous behavior is normal.
i tell you though - i owe a lot of moms some serious apologies for judging them at target over the last couple decades.....
Monday, January 10, 2011
23 weeks
Pregnancy: 23 weeks
Weight Gain: i have no idea. it looks like i'm close to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Sleep: no problems! danielle got me a new body pillow for christmas and it rocks my socks! the old one was getting flat.
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) ryan is getting very good with the name now and recognizes that it's his baby sister. super cute.
Feeling: dude, i feel like crap. i'm achy and coughing and exhausted. michael felt yucky for a long time, and i'm afraid i'm going to be sick forever because all i can take is amoxicillan and tylenol. boo!
Cravings: nothing too much
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely getting stronger. i bought a doppler online for $15 and it's fun listening to her heartbeat. not to mention the piece of mind.
Belly: getting bigger by the day. i'm definitely growing more "out" with her, while i was more wide with ryan.
Next Appointment: january 17th - 24 weeks!!! a baby is considered "viable" at 24 weeks. don't get me wrong, i realize the dangers of a 24 week delivery and wouldn't wish that on anyone. but getting to the point where we at least have a fighting chance will be a huge relief, especially after the bleeding earlier on.
Weight Gain: i have no idea. it looks like i'm close to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Sleep: no problems! danielle got me a new body pillow for christmas and it rocks my socks! the old one was getting flat.
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) ryan is getting very good with the name now and recognizes that it's his baby sister. super cute.
Feeling: dude, i feel like crap. i'm achy and coughing and exhausted. michael felt yucky for a long time, and i'm afraid i'm going to be sick forever because all i can take is amoxicillan and tylenol. boo!
Cravings: nothing too much
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely getting stronger. i bought a doppler online for $15 and it's fun listening to her heartbeat. not to mention the piece of mind.
Belly: getting bigger by the day. i'm definitely growing more "out" with her, while i was more wide with ryan.
Next Appointment: january 17th - 24 weeks!!! a baby is considered "viable" at 24 weeks. don't get me wrong, i realize the dangers of a 24 week delivery and wouldn't wish that on anyone. but getting to the point where we at least have a fighting chance will be a huge relief, especially after the bleeding earlier on.
Friday, January 07, 2011
22 weeks (a little late)
Pregnancy: 22 weeks
Weight Gain: all i have to say is reese's peanut butter cups.
Sleep: no problems!
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) we tried to get ryan to say the name and he has a very cute nickname for her already.
Feeling: pretty good. i have some antibiodics for a sinus infection, but we're all on the upswing!
Cravings: nothing too much
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely getting stronger
Belly: getting bigger by the day
Next Appointment: january 17th - 24 weeks!!!
Weight Gain: all i have to say is reese's peanut butter cups.
Sleep: no problems!
Gender: Girl!!!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) we tried to get ryan to say the name and he has a very cute nickname for her already.
Feeling: pretty good. i have some antibiodics for a sinus infection, but we're all on the upswing!
Cravings: nothing too much
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely getting stronger
Belly: getting bigger by the day
Next Appointment: january 17th - 24 weeks!!!
Saturday, January 01, 2011
my, how things have changed
in the not-so-distant past, new years eve was a time for celebration. a time for staying up late, hanging out with friends, and maybe even having a drink or two.
and then there's new years eve nowadays. we spent the evening hanging out at home with erin and nate and the boys. cole and grant played mario kart as ryan chased cole from chair to chair to chair. we ordered chinese food and ate it throughout the night, kind of like our own chinese buffet. we sat on the floor in the dining room, playing with ryan's new toys and searching through quarters to complete cole's quarters of america book. we sanitized our hands after playing with money.
ryan was in bed by 9 (and even slept in until 9 this morning!) and we settled in to watch Julie and Julia after our guests left. we were in bed and sleeping by about 11pm.
and you know what? i loved every single minute of it. goodbye 2010 - here's to 2011!
and then there's new years eve nowadays. we spent the evening hanging out at home with erin and nate and the boys. cole and grant played mario kart as ryan chased cole from chair to chair to chair. we ordered chinese food and ate it throughout the night, kind of like our own chinese buffet. we sat on the floor in the dining room, playing with ryan's new toys and searching through quarters to complete cole's quarters of america book. we sanitized our hands after playing with money.
ryan was in bed by 9 (and even slept in until 9 this morning!) and we settled in to watch Julie and Julia after our guests left. we were in bed and sleeping by about 11pm.
and you know what? i loved every single minute of it. goodbye 2010 - here's to 2011!
Friday, December 31, 2010
the thin line between crazy and resourceful
i love couponing. i'm a huge fan of putting together an organized shopping trip and executing it. paying full price for things like cereal, deodorant, and toothbrushes hurts my feelings. seeing a total bill of $100 come down to $5 rocks.
and then there are the crazy folks - the ones that have enough toilet paper to last them 30 years. do i have a lot of toilet paper in my basement - yes. enough to last 30 years - no way. actually, right now i'm low on toilet paper, but it's only a matter of time before there's another good deal. which is why i would never buy 30 years worth. 6 months? yes. a year? maybe. depends on how good the deal is. if it's free, i would definitely do a year - toilet paper is tough to find a good deal on. for example, last year target had the bounty basics paper towels for $0.99. some areas (not our area, so i had to order some coupons off the internet) had a $1 off any bounty paper towel target coupon. and then there's the $0.25 off bounty paper towels manufactuer coupon. net cost for a roll of paper towels - ($0.24). yes, that's right, they paid me $0.24 to carry each roll of paper towels out of the store. even after purchasing my coupons online, i still ended up ahead. and we use paper towels like nobody's business.
i just finished watching the new TLC show "Extreme Couponing." those folks are a bit crazy. one of the women acutally keeps a blog that i follow - the krazy coupon lady. anyways, some of these folks ended up checking out with 9 or so carts of stuff. that's a bit silly. there's NO need for 1,000 toothbrushes. seriously, leave some stuff on the shelves for the rest of us! even if you're going to donate some (which i do from time to time), that's still an awful lot of toothbrushes!
couponing is addicting - it's a game. and there's a thin line between going overboard and being resourceful. especially for OCD folks like myself that are already prone to going a bit overboard. :) thank goodness i have michael to keep me in check and remind me that we probably don't need anymore toothpaste for awhile.
and then there are the crazy folks - the ones that have enough toilet paper to last them 30 years. do i have a lot of toilet paper in my basement - yes. enough to last 30 years - no way. actually, right now i'm low on toilet paper, but it's only a matter of time before there's another good deal. which is why i would never buy 30 years worth. 6 months? yes. a year? maybe. depends on how good the deal is. if it's free, i would definitely do a year - toilet paper is tough to find a good deal on. for example, last year target had the bounty basics paper towels for $0.99. some areas (not our area, so i had to order some coupons off the internet) had a $1 off any bounty paper towel target coupon. and then there's the $0.25 off bounty paper towels manufactuer coupon. net cost for a roll of paper towels - ($0.24). yes, that's right, they paid me $0.24 to carry each roll of paper towels out of the store. even after purchasing my coupons online, i still ended up ahead. and we use paper towels like nobody's business.
i just finished watching the new TLC show "Extreme Couponing." those folks are a bit crazy. one of the women acutally keeps a blog that i follow - the krazy coupon lady. anyways, some of these folks ended up checking out with 9 or so carts of stuff. that's a bit silly. there's NO need for 1,000 toothbrushes. seriously, leave some stuff on the shelves for the rest of us! even if you're going to donate some (which i do from time to time), that's still an awful lot of toothbrushes!
couponing is addicting - it's a game. and there's a thin line between going overboard and being resourceful. especially for OCD folks like myself that are already prone to going a bit overboard. :) thank goodness i have michael to keep me in check and remind me that we probably don't need anymore toothpaste for awhile.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
NICU day
every december 29th, we celebrate the day ryan came home from the hospital. last year we went to lunch at the mall and ate some pizza and then went to build a bear. we have plans tonight, so we celebrated last night. we got some dinner at outback and ryan enjoyed their delicious mac n cheese. he even got his own sprite (don't tell anyone!). then we went off to toys r us to let ryan pick out a toy. any toy. we wandered around for about an hour. we looked at trains - nope, "put back!" we looked at books - nope, same response. we looked at pillow pets and snuggled them a bit, but nope. we looked at DVDs - nope. we looked at music - nope. we even looked at dance star mickey (which i have been not so secretly wanting to get him) - nope.
here's what we left with:
of all the toys at toys r us, we ended up with the $12 corn popper. he loves the thing! i guess the guy knows what he likes!
and, for comparisons sake, here's a picture of ryan the day we brought him home. he weighed just under 6lbs at the time, as compared to 34lbs, 10oz 2 years later.
this is my favorite picture of all time - i look like crap, you can see the tears coming down my face, but it's the most honest, emotionally raw picture i've ever seen. this exact moment is the best moment of my life - the moment i realized that all of my dreams had come true. i love you monkey!!!
here's what we left with:
of all the toys at toys r us, we ended up with the $12 corn popper. he loves the thing! i guess the guy knows what he likes!
and, for comparisons sake, here's a picture of ryan the day we brought him home. he weighed just under 6lbs at the time, as compared to 34lbs, 10oz 2 years later.
this is my favorite picture of all time - i look like crap, you can see the tears coming down my face, but it's the most honest, emotionally raw picture i've ever seen. this exact moment is the best moment of my life - the moment i realized that all of my dreams had come true. i love you monkey!!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
21 weeks
Pregnancy: 21 weeks
Weight Gain: due to some delicious chocolate chip cookies, i'm expecting last week's weight loss has diminished.
Sleep: i love to sleep, although the hips are starting to hurt again. i was thinking of a pregnancy body pillow, but there's no room in our bed!
Gender: Girl!!! ahh!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) we tried to get ryan to say the name and he has a very cute nickname for her already.
Feeling: i caught ryan's cold and that's no fun!
Cravings: there's a new vietnamese restaurant nearby and i'm loving their chicken bun.
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: apparently my bladder/cervix is a trampoline and she's dancing it up in there! ouch!
Belly: getting bigger by the day - balancing the laptop on my lap is getting harder
Next Appointment: oh crap, i need to make our 24 week appointment!
Weight Gain: due to some delicious chocolate chip cookies, i'm expecting last week's weight loss has diminished.
Sleep: i love to sleep, although the hips are starting to hurt again. i was thinking of a pregnancy body pillow, but there's no room in our bed!
Gender: Girl!!! ahh!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) we tried to get ryan to say the name and he has a very cute nickname for her already.
Feeling: i caught ryan's cold and that's no fun!
Cravings: there's a new vietnamese restaurant nearby and i'm loving their chicken bun.
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: apparently my bladder/cervix is a trampoline and she's dancing it up in there! ouch!
Belly: getting bigger by the day - balancing the laptop on my lap is getting harder
Next Appointment: oh crap, i need to make our 24 week appointment!
Christmas - Parts I, II, and III
christmas has been a bit bittersweet the last 2 years. in 2008, ryan was still in the NICU. in 2009, we took a christmas eve trip to the ER because he was wheezing. this year we were determined to have a hospital-free holiday!
our first christmas was with michael's mom on november 21st. we enjoyed our time together and ryan got some new choo choos, which are always a big hit.
next up was oshkosh christmas on december 18th. ryan had the flu right beforehand and i had come down with it midweek, so things were looking a little iffy as we neared saturday, but everyone was healthy and happy (until the next day when michael came down with the flu as well). ryan enjoyed dinner and went crazy over the beef tenderloin. he even shared some with the nutcracker at our table. we got some great stuff - too much to even mention! ryan loves playing with his new fish tank light and can't get enough of the mr. potato head playdoh. i can't wait to use my new boba carrier with baby OP and michael is loving having a new sweater to wear every day.
this year we had our first actual christmas day at our house. we went to all you can eat sushi with carrie and joe on christmas eve and ryan was difficult to say the least! he had started with a runny nose and some coughing, so we gave him some benadryl before bed. apparently he is the exception to the rule and benadryl makes him hyper - he was up partying like a rockstar from 1:30-3:30am! he got up for good at 7 and we came downstairs to see what santa had brought. ryan was thrilled with his new cardboard blocks and was super excited to open his presents. it took all of about 15 minutes to unwrap everything. we've been playing with his new tag jr books, chuck the truck, and moon lamp ever since. michael got me some pretty candle holders that i've wanted and a potato ricer and i got him a donald driver throwback jersey, which apparently brought good luck to the pack this weekend!
unfortunately, as the holiday went on, ryan's cold progressed and got passed to me (michael started the whole deal). he did have a bit of wheezing on christmas day, but we took care of it with his inhaler. finally we avoided the hospital! :) as of our doctors appointment yesterday, he has 1 full blown ear infection, 1 on the way, and pink eye. you wouldn't know it by watching him - he's in a great mood!
we have iowa christmas the weekend of january 8th and can't wait!!
our first christmas was with michael's mom on november 21st. we enjoyed our time together and ryan got some new choo choos, which are always a big hit.
next up was oshkosh christmas on december 18th. ryan had the flu right beforehand and i had come down with it midweek, so things were looking a little iffy as we neared saturday, but everyone was healthy and happy (until the next day when michael came down with the flu as well). ryan enjoyed dinner and went crazy over the beef tenderloin. he even shared some with the nutcracker at our table. we got some great stuff - too much to even mention! ryan loves playing with his new fish tank light and can't get enough of the mr. potato head playdoh. i can't wait to use my new boba carrier with baby OP and michael is loving having a new sweater to wear every day.
this year we had our first actual christmas day at our house. we went to all you can eat sushi with carrie and joe on christmas eve and ryan was difficult to say the least! he had started with a runny nose and some coughing, so we gave him some benadryl before bed. apparently he is the exception to the rule and benadryl makes him hyper - he was up partying like a rockstar from 1:30-3:30am! he got up for good at 7 and we came downstairs to see what santa had brought. ryan was thrilled with his new cardboard blocks and was super excited to open his presents. it took all of about 15 minutes to unwrap everything. we've been playing with his new tag jr books, chuck the truck, and moon lamp ever since. michael got me some pretty candle holders that i've wanted and a potato ricer and i got him a donald driver throwback jersey, which apparently brought good luck to the pack this weekend!
unfortunately, as the holiday went on, ryan's cold progressed and got passed to me (michael started the whole deal). he did have a bit of wheezing on christmas day, but we took care of it with his inhaler. finally we avoided the hospital! :) as of our doctors appointment yesterday, he has 1 full blown ear infection, 1 on the way, and pink eye. you wouldn't know it by watching him - he's in a great mood!
we have iowa christmas the weekend of january 8th and can't wait!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
ryan - 2 years old
to say i'm proud of how far ryan has come is the understatement of the year. 2 years ago i was holding him in the hospital, willing him to eat. i offered him puppies, ponies, money, everything i could think of. and nothing worked. today, i had to tell him that he had done enough snacking and that perhaps it was time for a break.
a few weeks ago, we had his 2 year appointment. he weighed in at 34lbs, 2oz and was 38 inches tall. that puts him on track to be 6'4" (they say your adult height is double your height at 2). he is in the 98th percentile for height and the 90th for weight. he has met or exceeded every milestone he should have at this point.
he was in the mood to end all moods today - smiling and laughing from the minute he woke up.
we played with his new puppy, "treats" (a kids meal toy from burger king), offering the new member of the family bites of our food, throwing him for the real puppies, and giving him lots of snuggles.
we colored.
we played with his new mr potato head, laughing about how funny it is to put the ear on the top of his head. we ate cheese and crackers for a snack. or should i say, i ate cheese and crackers and ryan just ate the cheese.
we played choo-choos and made sure to tell each train to be careful going down the hill.
we "argued" about who is funnier - ryan or mommy.
ryan hung a tag he found on the floor on the christmas tree, certain it was an ornament.
we moved the candy cane on our advent calendar to the next pocket.
ryan figured out how to use the boxes that daddy's pots came in as stairs.
during his bedtime story, he was sure to tell the very, very bad fish (from one fish, two fish) that he needed a time out.
it was a good day.
a few weeks ago, we had his 2 year appointment. he weighed in at 34lbs, 2oz and was 38 inches tall. that puts him on track to be 6'4" (they say your adult height is double your height at 2). he is in the 98th percentile for height and the 90th for weight. he has met or exceeded every milestone he should have at this point.
he was in the mood to end all moods today - smiling and laughing from the minute he woke up.
we played with his new puppy, "treats" (a kids meal toy from burger king), offering the new member of the family bites of our food, throwing him for the real puppies, and giving him lots of snuggles.
we colored.
we played with his new mr potato head, laughing about how funny it is to put the ear on the top of his head. we ate cheese and crackers for a snack. or should i say, i ate cheese and crackers and ryan just ate the cheese.
we played choo-choos and made sure to tell each train to be careful going down the hill.
we "argued" about who is funnier - ryan or mommy.
ryan hung a tag he found on the floor on the christmas tree, certain it was an ornament.
we moved the candy cane on our advent calendar to the next pocket.
ryan figured out how to use the boxes that daddy's pots came in as stairs.
during his bedtime story, he was sure to tell the very, very bad fish (from one fish, two fish) that he needed a time out.
it was a good day.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
20 weeks
we had our anatomy scan yesterday! while we had covered most of the stuff during our scan at 17 weeks, it was still nice to see our babe again. all of the important stuff was there and looking perfect - kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, spine, feet, nose, all the good stuff!
the only thing that was missing was a penis - we're having a GIRL! this will be the first girl after 8 boys in our family. we're excited, but a bit apprehensive as we have no experience with little girls! i *may* have gone to gymboree between the ultrasound and our doctor appointment and done a little shopping. :)
Pregnancy: 20 weeks
Weight Gain: down 7lbs total. i expect this to change very soon
Sleep: i love to sleep. :)
Gender: Girl!!! ahh!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) we tried to get ryan to say the name and he has a very cute nickname for her already.
Feeling: feeling good!
Cravings: nothing too strong right now
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely feeling more movement. she moves very differently than ryan did. he was very subtle, she is very muchso not subtle!
Belly: getting bigger by the day - balancing the laptop on my lap is getting harder
Next Appointment: i forgot to make it yesterday in all the excitement, but it will be in 4 weeks.
the only thing that was missing was a penis - we're having a GIRL! this will be the first girl after 8 boys in our family. we're excited, but a bit apprehensive as we have no experience with little girls! i *may* have gone to gymboree between the ultrasound and our doctor appointment and done a little shopping. :)
Pregnancy: 20 weeks
Weight Gain: down 7lbs total. i expect this to change very soon
Sleep: i love to sleep. :)
Gender: Girl!!! ahh!
Name: she has a name, which everyone will learn on may 2nd. :) we tried to get ryan to say the name and he has a very cute nickname for her already.
Feeling: feeling good!
Cravings: nothing too strong right now
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: definitely feeling more movement. she moves very differently than ryan did. he was very subtle, she is very muchso not subtle!
Belly: getting bigger by the day - balancing the laptop on my lap is getting harder
Next Appointment: i forgot to make it yesterday in all the excitement, but it will be in 4 weeks.
Friday, December 17, 2010
damsel in distress
i spent the better part of my life pretending that i didn't "need" anyone. i have an amazingly supportive family and amazing friends, but i wanted to take care of myself. and then i met michael. while the above remains mostly the same, he has shown me that depending on another person isn't a weakness.
this last week has been really, really difficult for me. the combination of ryan's flu (which drags on and on and on and on), pregnancy hormones, pregnancy yuckiness, the fact that i think i caught the bug from ryan, and the fact that i can't take my emergency medicine has added up to a big 'ol disaster more than once. i have completely freaked out almost daily. the sobbing, need to be held freaked out. i'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.
michael has held me and comforted me and not made me feel at all bad about the fact that i am seemingly crazy. he has cleaned the house for our showing tomorrow and fed ryan when i couldn't bring myself to do it. he has stepped in to cuddle when it all got to be too much.
to say that i couldn't do this without him is the understatement of the century. i need this guy. good thing i life having him around. :)
this last week has been really, really difficult for me. the combination of ryan's flu (which drags on and on and on and on), pregnancy hormones, pregnancy yuckiness, the fact that i think i caught the bug from ryan, and the fact that i can't take my emergency medicine has added up to a big 'ol disaster more than once. i have completely freaked out almost daily. the sobbing, need to be held freaked out. i'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.
michael has held me and comforted me and not made me feel at all bad about the fact that i am seemingly crazy. he has cleaned the house for our showing tomorrow and fed ryan when i couldn't bring myself to do it. he has stepped in to cuddle when it all got to be too much.
to say that i couldn't do this without him is the understatement of the century. i need this guy. good thing i life having him around. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
19 weeks
Pregnancy: 19 weeks
Weight Gain: probably down a bit more than the previous 4 lbs, thanks to ryan's flu.
Sleep: still sleeping, still have sore hips
Gender: we think we know, but we'll find out for sure on december 20th.
Name: we have a boy name and a girl name now, but we're not sharing. :)
Feeling: mostly good. the anxiety when ryan was sick sucked, especially without being able to use my "emergency pill." but we got through it!
Cravings: nothing too strong right now
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: still feeling blurps
Belly: getting bigger by the day!
Next Appointment: December 20th - eek! it's finally only a week away!
Weight Gain: probably down a bit more than the previous 4 lbs, thanks to ryan's flu.
Sleep: still sleeping, still have sore hips
Gender: we think we know, but we'll find out for sure on december 20th.
Name: we have a boy name and a girl name now, but we're not sharing. :)
Feeling: mostly good. the anxiety when ryan was sick sucked, especially without being able to use my "emergency pill." but we got through it!
Cravings: nothing too strong right now
Health: still no more bleeding! hooray!!!! fingers crossed that it stays that way.
Movement: still feeling blurps
Belly: getting bigger by the day!
Next Appointment: December 20th - eek! it's finally only a week away!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
in the trenches
OCD is a tricky thing. 99% of the time, i wander around completely fine. no problems or anxiety at all. and then there are weeks and weekends like the past few.
a couple of weeks ago, i was bleeding. some people would probably just freak out and meet with their dr and then relax when the dr said everything was fine. not this person. i continue to obsess long after the original episode, playing through every scenario, no matter how unlikely, in my head. i'm not a reliable source for what my symptoms are because i can trick my body into thinking it's feeling anything. am i cramping? well, let me think about it a minute...oh yeah, there was a slight twinge in my mid-section...but was that me making it happen or is there really a problem. additionally, the first thing to go when i start obsessing is my appetite. i don't eat. and then i don't feel well because i haven't eaten. so i don't want to eat. and so on and so forth.
the past 24 hours have been the most challenging OCD hours thus far. yesterday morning, ryan threw up. and then he threw up again. at that point, it was safe to say he had the flu. well, i've heard about this flu before and i am petrified. i know people don't like to get the flu and don't like to have their little ones sick, but this is different. this is full on fear. my heartrate as been above 100 for the better part of a day. i cannot, no matter how hard i try, relax. i am looking for any sign that ryan might be ready to be sick again, for any indication that michael may have caught it, and wondering constantly if i don't feel well because i'm freaking out or if i have a stomach flu in my future. i'm scared to be left alone with him tomorrow. i am scared of my kid.
i have completely lost it twice - full on sobbing. i think it's just the stress building up and then needing to be released. i think it's also the fact that it breaks my heart that i look at ryan with fear. i stay by him, i comfort him when he's throwing up, i cuddle him and take care of him, but i'm scared doing it. and that kills me. i'm scared of being alone with him tomorrow.
no amount of rationalization can help. i know that the stomach flu is normal, it sucks, but he's going to be fine. i know that he's going to puke on stuff, and i know how to do laundry. for crying out loud, he puked on everything for the first 9 months of his life and that didn't bother me. i know that michael and i might get sick, and as much as that would suck, we'd get over it. i know nothing bad is going to happen, but that doesn't stop the fear. the racing heart. the sweaty palms. the shaking hands. the upset stomach. and that's what makes it hard - if i had a specific rational fear, i could rationally explain it away. but it's really hard to convince the crazy part of your brain that it's being crazy.
so, here i am on day 2 of puke-fest (which has really been a pretty mild 4-incident experience), freaking out. ryan is sleeping in butler's dog bed, hopefully completely unaware of the craziness going through his mom's head. i sit in his room while michael stays with him, angry and upset that i can't control these feelings.
i suppose all i can do is to remember that this too shall pass...
a couple of weeks ago, i was bleeding. some people would probably just freak out and meet with their dr and then relax when the dr said everything was fine. not this person. i continue to obsess long after the original episode, playing through every scenario, no matter how unlikely, in my head. i'm not a reliable source for what my symptoms are because i can trick my body into thinking it's feeling anything. am i cramping? well, let me think about it a minute...oh yeah, there was a slight twinge in my mid-section...but was that me making it happen or is there really a problem. additionally, the first thing to go when i start obsessing is my appetite. i don't eat. and then i don't feel well because i haven't eaten. so i don't want to eat. and so on and so forth.
the past 24 hours have been the most challenging OCD hours thus far. yesterday morning, ryan threw up. and then he threw up again. at that point, it was safe to say he had the flu. well, i've heard about this flu before and i am petrified. i know people don't like to get the flu and don't like to have their little ones sick, but this is different. this is full on fear. my heartrate as been above 100 for the better part of a day. i cannot, no matter how hard i try, relax. i am looking for any sign that ryan might be ready to be sick again, for any indication that michael may have caught it, and wondering constantly if i don't feel well because i'm freaking out or if i have a stomach flu in my future. i'm scared to be left alone with him tomorrow. i am scared of my kid.
i have completely lost it twice - full on sobbing. i think it's just the stress building up and then needing to be released. i think it's also the fact that it breaks my heart that i look at ryan with fear. i stay by him, i comfort him when he's throwing up, i cuddle him and take care of him, but i'm scared doing it. and that kills me. i'm scared of being alone with him tomorrow.
no amount of rationalization can help. i know that the stomach flu is normal, it sucks, but he's going to be fine. i know that he's going to puke on stuff, and i know how to do laundry. for crying out loud, he puked on everything for the first 9 months of his life and that didn't bother me. i know that michael and i might get sick, and as much as that would suck, we'd get over it. i know nothing bad is going to happen, but that doesn't stop the fear. the racing heart. the sweaty palms. the shaking hands. the upset stomach. and that's what makes it hard - if i had a specific rational fear, i could rationally explain it away. but it's really hard to convince the crazy part of your brain that it's being crazy.
so, here i am on day 2 of puke-fest (which has really been a pretty mild 4-incident experience), freaking out. ryan is sleeping in butler's dog bed, hopefully completely unaware of the craziness going through his mom's head. i sit in his room while michael stays with him, angry and upset that i can't control these feelings.
i suppose all i can do is to remember that this too shall pass...
Monday, December 06, 2010
18 weeks
Pregnancy: 18 weeks
Weight Gain: down 4 lbs, but i'm betting a good bit of that is from anxiety (see below)
Sleep: still sleeping, still have sore hips
Gender: we think we know, but we'll find out for sure on december 20th.
Name: we have a boy name and a girl name now, but we're not sharing. :)
Feeling: i've been having quite a bit more anxiety, but other than that, i'm feeling better more often than not. haven't needed a zofran for almost a week!
Cravings: nothing too strong right now
Health: well, the boring pregnancy was nice while it lasted. i had a small bleeding episode at 15 weeks, but the doctor didn't think it was a problem and gave me a few restrictions to be safe. then, on wednesday last week (at 17w2d), i woke up bleeding (not a lot, but enough). given i was sleeping beforehand and not doing anything that should cause bleeding, it was scary. we saw the doctor and he thought i had an irritable cervix. he put some silver nitrate on the cervix (which causes some serious cramping - ouch!), gave me even more restrictions, and off we went. that night i had some bright red bleeding and called the office again. the on-call doctor thought it might be the scab from the silver nitrate coming off and not to worry. dr bear called on thursday and wanted to see us again on friday - after an ultrasound - to make sure there wasn't an abruption issue.
we had our ultrasound and it was great. the baby looks perfect and was moving around a lot. there were no obvious issues. the tech couldn't say for sure whether it is a boy or girl, so i guess we'll have to wait until the 20th! dr bear thinks there is 1 of 2 things going on. the first, which he thinks is 70% likely, is that my cervix is just being stupid and bleeding. that would be the good option. the other, 30% option is that the bag of membranes is partially separating from the uterine wall. while it's likely that the separation will heal within 2-6 weeks like any other wound, it can also cause a lot of problems like premature rupture of membranes and premature labor - both of which have a pretty grim outlook. so, there's a small possibility that the small possibility could cause a serious problem. while that might seem like pretty good odds, i'm usually the outlier and tend to fall into the exception group pretty consistently, so we're treating this as the worst case scenario. cue even more restrictions.
so now we wait. and hopefully nothing will happen. as of this morning, there was no more bleeding. hopefully it will stay that way and this will be the last issue we see. until then, any thoughts and prayers would be welcome.
Movement: still feeling blurps
Belly: getting bigger by the day!
Next Appointment: December 20th (god willing)
Weight Gain: down 4 lbs, but i'm betting a good bit of that is from anxiety (see below)
Sleep: still sleeping, still have sore hips
Gender: we think we know, but we'll find out for sure on december 20th.
Name: we have a boy name and a girl name now, but we're not sharing. :)
Feeling: i've been having quite a bit more anxiety, but other than that, i'm feeling better more often than not. haven't needed a zofran for almost a week!
Cravings: nothing too strong right now
Health: well, the boring pregnancy was nice while it lasted. i had a small bleeding episode at 15 weeks, but the doctor didn't think it was a problem and gave me a few restrictions to be safe. then, on wednesday last week (at 17w2d), i woke up bleeding (not a lot, but enough). given i was sleeping beforehand and not doing anything that should cause bleeding, it was scary. we saw the doctor and he thought i had an irritable cervix. he put some silver nitrate on the cervix (which causes some serious cramping - ouch!), gave me even more restrictions, and off we went. that night i had some bright red bleeding and called the office again. the on-call doctor thought it might be the scab from the silver nitrate coming off and not to worry. dr bear called on thursday and wanted to see us again on friday - after an ultrasound - to make sure there wasn't an abruption issue.
we had our ultrasound and it was great. the baby looks perfect and was moving around a lot. there were no obvious issues. the tech couldn't say for sure whether it is a boy or girl, so i guess we'll have to wait until the 20th! dr bear thinks there is 1 of 2 things going on. the first, which he thinks is 70% likely, is that my cervix is just being stupid and bleeding. that would be the good option. the other, 30% option is that the bag of membranes is partially separating from the uterine wall. while it's likely that the separation will heal within 2-6 weeks like any other wound, it can also cause a lot of problems like premature rupture of membranes and premature labor - both of which have a pretty grim outlook. so, there's a small possibility that the small possibility could cause a serious problem. while that might seem like pretty good odds, i'm usually the outlier and tend to fall into the exception group pretty consistently, so we're treating this as the worst case scenario. cue even more restrictions.
so now we wait. and hopefully nothing will happen. as of this morning, there was no more bleeding. hopefully it will stay that way and this will be the last issue we see. until then, any thoughts and prayers would be welcome.
Movement: still feeling blurps
Belly: getting bigger by the day!
Next Appointment: December 20th (god willing)
Friday, December 03, 2010
2 year ago today....
two years ago today, i didn't know you.
two years ago today, i didn't know the sound of your laugh, your smile, your cry.
two years ago today, i didn't know how much a smile could really mean.
two years ago today, i didn't know that my favorite thing to do would be to hold you.
two years ago today, i didn't know what true love meant.
two years ago today, i didn't know all the words to the mickey mouse clubhouse theme song.
two years ago today, i didn't know what true fear was.
two years ago today, i didn't know how beautiful you would be.
two years ago today, everything changed. two years ago today, i was just kate. two years ago today, you were born.
happy birthday baby boy, i love you more than anything.
two years ago today, i didn't know the sound of your laugh, your smile, your cry.
two years ago today, i didn't know how much a smile could really mean.
two years ago today, i didn't know that my favorite thing to do would be to hold you.
two years ago today, i didn't know what true love meant.
two years ago today, i didn't know all the words to the mickey mouse clubhouse theme song.
two years ago today, i didn't know what true fear was.
two years ago today, i didn't know how beautiful you would be.
two years ago today, everything changed. two years ago today, i was just kate. two years ago today, you were born.
happy birthday baby boy, i love you more than anything.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
17 weeks
Not much change this week. Just plugging along!
Pregnancy: 17 weeks
Weight Gain: still the same. not much change
Sleep: still sleeping, still have sore hips
Gender: unknown - we find out on December 20th!
Name: we have a boy name and a girl name now, but we're not sharing. :)
Feeling: still feel crappy about every other day. boo.
Cravings: right now i have a serious hankering for some KFC mashed potatoes....
Health: so far so good.
Movement: still feeling blurps
Belly: getting bigger by the day!
Next Appointment: December 20th
Pregnancy: 17 weeks
Weight Gain: still the same. not much change
Sleep: still sleeping, still have sore hips
Gender: unknown - we find out on December 20th!
Name: we have a boy name and a girl name now, but we're not sharing. :)
Feeling: still feel crappy about every other day. boo.
Cravings: right now i have a serious hankering for some KFC mashed potatoes....
Health: so far so good.
Movement: still feeling blurps
Belly: getting bigger by the day!
Next Appointment: December 20th
Thursday, November 25, 2010
thankful
two years ago, i spent thanksgiving pregnant and happy. after battling infertility, i was blessed to be 32 weeks pregnant with my little guy. i had an amazing husband, 2great dogs, a great family, a kid on the way, and a house. finally, i had it all.
then i woke up the next morning bleeding. a lot more than i ever had before. i ditched my black friday plans to go buy a temporal thermometer at babies r us and rushed to the hospital instead. they checked me over and, much to my surprise, sent me home. i delivered 6 days later.
thanksgiving will always be bittersweet to me. it will always remind me of the last day i spent in blissful ignorance. it will always be the day before the you know what hit the fan. this year, as i am pregnant again, it's hard not to remember that time in my last pregnancy. but, in light of those things, thanksgiving will also always be a day that i remember just how much i have to be thankful for.
so today, i am thankful for all the same things i was 2 years ago - my husband, my son, a new baby, my pups, my family, my house. but now i know how easily it could all have fallen apart, and the fact that it didn't is what i'm most thankful for.
happy thanksgiving everyone.
then i woke up the next morning bleeding. a lot more than i ever had before. i ditched my black friday plans to go buy a temporal thermometer at babies r us and rushed to the hospital instead. they checked me over and, much to my surprise, sent me home. i delivered 6 days later.
thanksgiving will always be bittersweet to me. it will always remind me of the last day i spent in blissful ignorance. it will always be the day before the you know what hit the fan. this year, as i am pregnant again, it's hard not to remember that time in my last pregnancy. but, in light of those things, thanksgiving will also always be a day that i remember just how much i have to be thankful for.
so today, i am thankful for all the same things i was 2 years ago - my husband, my son, a new baby, my pups, my family, my house. but now i know how easily it could all have fallen apart, and the fact that it didn't is what i'm most thankful for.
happy thanksgiving everyone.
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