blog overhaul and the grand ah ha! moment

after i had ryan, i started feeling a lot of anxiety. i have had some anxiety here and there for a long time, but never to this extent. so, off to the doctor i went. after explaining the things that cause me anxiety, the doctor told me that i did not have an anxiety disorder, instead i have obsessive compulsive disorder. i laughed. when she asked what i was laughing about (probably while considering a completely different diagnosis!), i told her that i was relieved. you see, i've always known on one level or another that i was obsessive compulsive and it was just a matter of time until it because a disorder - knowing that i didn't have an anxiety disorder in addition to OCD was great!

as i've explored my diagnosis in the last few months, a lot of things have become clear. for instance, did you know that having my socks stuck to the bottom of my feet drives me insane? honestly. i will take off my shoes at work and just wear socks if it gets bad enough. and stuffed animals. i have always felt bad picking up a stuffed animal and then leaving it at the store. don't even get me started on looking at puppies!

and of course, there's the big one - sickness. it used to just be puking. if someone was nauseous, i was out of there. if i was nauseous, i was in a panic. it's expanded to include all types of sickness since i had ryan.

what do all of these things have in common? control. i don't do well when i don't have a plan and i don't have control of what's happening in my life. and in the last 2 years of my life, it has become more and more obvious that i can't control most things and i need to figure out how to misplace control.

oh my

last weekend we went to iowa city for dylan's 1st birthday (pictures posted soon). butler and molly decided to stay home and go to daycare/boarding at their favorite place. they had a great time, even if molly did need a bath when she came home!

well, friday night michael and i woke up to molly hacking something fierce. after some quick internet research, i figured she probaby had kennel cough. ick. even more importantly, it's like the puppy verison of the flu or a cold and there's nothing we can do about it. turns out, the kennel cough vaccine is about as effective as the flu shot in humans...

i went to dubuque this weekend and michael stayed home with the pups. molly seemed to be improving, but was now occasionally hacking up some white foamy stuff (which i hear is normal for kennel cough). sunday night, however, i woke up to butler hacking! we were up for a good while with him, as it's very hard to fall asleep when you have two dogs coughing.

i called the vet this morning to see where we should go from here. she said to just watch them to make sure they don't get worse. i asked her if there was anything we could do to reduce the coughing. she said to let them cough, it helps clear up the infection. and then she said this should resolve in 4-5 weeks!

apparently this little situation is the universe's way of getting michael and i ready for the baby....

Growing Up....

come january 22nd (plus or minus a few days), michael and i will be having a baby! well, i suspect i'll be actually "having" the baby, but you get the idea. i will be 14 weeks along tomorrow and i'm feeling much better. weeks 7-12 were not great, but it gets better everyday. i eat a full 3 meals almost everyday now. i actually ended up losing 10 lbs during the 1st trimester!

we've been busy getting ready for our addition. over the 4th of july our friend greg and his friend mike came to town and helped us move furniture (can't move furniture when you're pregnant, schucks!). we moved the office into the sunroom, the guest bedroom into the office, and the guest bedroom is now empty, more or less. we have our bedding, our stroller, a car seat base, a front carrier, a diaper bag, a quilt from michael's grandma, and tons of very cute little clothes! everyone has been so supportive and excited. we will find out in september whether it will be a baby boy or a baby girl. and michael and i have a bet on how big the baby will be. i say over 8 lbs, michael says 7.5 lbs or less. the weight between 7.5 and 8 is still open for bets! it's been a great trip so far. and baby mac has its own website.

we planned awhile ago to take a vacation as soon as we found out we were pregnant. so, we booked a vacation to key west from august 30th to september 4th. we have a great hotel lined up and are looking forward to our last vacation for awhile.

one of the major things we had to get was a new car. turns out the jeep liberty was getting a little old (119,000 miles will do that to a car!) and there was no way that michael and i were going to fit in the car with a baby, butler, molly, and enough stuff for the weekend. i got a new job with a very big pay increase, so we went car shopping. after trying just about every SUV/crossover out there (no minivans!), i finally found the honda pilot. michael had suggested it several times, but i thought it looked boring. turns out it's the perfect car for us! we ended up with a 2005 blue honda pilot EXL. it has a sunroof, sunglasses holder, and DVD player! there are 3 rows of seats and so i think we will all fit just fine. so far i love it! too bad michael will be driving it most of the time since i'm commuting farther and we have a lot of miles to burn on his lease!

things are definitely changing, but we're excited to meet our baby. i can't believe we have another 6 months to wait!

spring time!

wow, owning a house is a lot of work. i know, i know, everyone said it would be, and michael and i knew that one one level or another, but come on! we've been outside from after dinner until dark most nights trying to get our lawn to look less like the desert (not the pretty kind like in arizona, the barren kind...) and more like an actual wisconsin lawn! tonight we tilled up dirt. with this claw looking thing. i don't even know its name.... but it felt like some sort of arm/core machine at the gym!
we bought some broccoli, strawberries, pumpkins, sunflowers and corn to plant in the back. and a lilac tree. i started growing the sunflowers and pumpkin in these cute little mock-greenhouse pellet things, and they're actually growing! so now we just have to figure out how to arrange things in the backyard.
and we got a lawn service. it looks all cheap when they send you the flier...not true when they do the estimate! but we figure we need a little help this summer as our lawn seriously sucks!
yes, it is a lot of work. especially on top of all of our major projects we're in the middle of. like stripping all the woodwork in the living room. and there's a lot of woodwork in the living room.
and we've started discussing new floors in the kitchen....
and a landscaping project....
it never ends.....

michael vs kate at 4:36 am

my husband talks in his sleep. he sees things and very consistently wakes me up to tell me something or look for something, or any other number of things.
on several occasions, like five occasions, michael has woken me up to ask me whether i feel the bed moving. i respond that i do not and he says it is moving. i say no and we both go back to bed.
on thursday night, at about 4:36, butler woke up barking. which woke up molly who started barking. which woke up michael.
he shook me and asked me if i felt the bed moving. i don't like to be woken up under any circumstances. but especially at 4:36. it's too close to when i have to get up. i feel slighted.
no i said. no moving bed, you're just halucinating.
to which he insisted that not only was he not halucinating, but that the tv (which is in the biggest piece of furniture EVER) and for that matter, the entire house was shaking. and, as usual, he assured me that this was NOT something he would halicuinate about.
i heard a noise, but i assumed it was outside. i told him he was halicuinating and that he should go back to sleep.
i remember formulating in my head the perfect argument - what did he think was moving the entire house? an earthquake? but then i realized there's no sense arguing with someone who's already halucinating.
michael woke me up again at about 6:30 am. to tell me there had actually been an earthquake in illinois at 4:36 am and aftershocks were felt throughout the midwest.
who would blame me though? what's more likely - an earthquake in the midwest or mike hallucinating? i rest my case.

i love the spring

this weekend was the first one since February that i didn't have a committment on Saturday doing volunteer taxes. don't get me wrong, i like doing taxes, but tax season could drive just about anyone crazy! so we had the entire weekend to ourselves to do what we wanted.
on friday night we went to dinner with michael's dad, Sue, Erin, Nate, Cole, and Grant at Bravo. it was yummy. then we came home and chatted with dad and mom about the earthquake (see above).
on saturday morning, i slept as late as i wanted. michael went to lunch with his friend Creighton and i went to mayfair mall to wander around by myself, which is one of my favorite things to do. we saw forgetting sarah marshall, which was pretty funny. we went to lowes and bought a new lawnmower and did some research about redoing the kitchen floors and finished up the night with dinner at qdoba. we took the pups for a walk and watched some recorded tv.
sunday i slept as late as i wanted after sleeping with the window open partially. we called Erin and Nate and set a time to come play with the boys. we put our new bike rack together only to discover that it wouldn't fit with the spare tire on my jeep, and then realized if we took the tire off it was fine. we loaded up the bikes and were off to get lunch at noodles and get michael's glasses adjusted.
then we drove to new berlin to play with Cole and Grant while Erin and Nate worked on their yard a bit. we played in the water table and learned all about water displacement, played some soccer, played some T-ball, and took a walk to the park. then we hit the customary weekend trips to the grocery store and sam's club and filled the bike tires.
we came home and had some delicious hot dogs on the grill and cut up some fruit for the week.
now, just watching some tv, might take a bath, and then off to bed!
what a great weekend. tons of time outside. even a bit of color on our skin!

updates

wow, has it really been since December 16th since i posted last?
things have been the same around here. i started a new project last weekend at home - refinishing the woodwork in the living room. we have a TON of original woodwork, which is beautiful except that it is old and crusty. the varnish is alligatoring (no, i didn't make that up, some wood guy said it) and about 3 paint jobs back they decided not to tape before painting the walls and so the edges of the wood have 2 layers of white and 1 layer of red paint. which looks weird with my green walls....so that's taking forever, but it will be beautiful when it's done.
it's been snowing here like mad. and everywhere else. we got out of work today at 11:30 am, which rocks my socks. and gave me a little extra time for refinishing!
the pups both celebrated a birthday - molly is 2 and butler is 4. the both enjoyed some peanut butter flavored puppy ice cream on both birthdays.
i'm in the full swing of things volunteering at VITA on the weekends (volunteer tax prep) at Marquette. it's a lot of work, but i figure it balances my karma from the rest of the week. i'm also in the full swing at Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. we're all (me, michael, mom, dad, danielle, and eric) doing the madison race so we can do it together. it should be a blast.
michael loves his job. he has a ridiculous amount of things in common with his boss and he seems really happy. which makes me happy!
grant's 1st birthday was this past weekend. i can't believe he's been around for a year! that's crazy! and dylan is 8 months. it seems like about 2 weeks ago they were both born. grant is walking around and i'm sure dylan won't be far behind. alex just turned 10! i have a 10 year old nephew! meghan is 16, drew is 7, will is 4 and cole will be 4 in may. no more babies! very strange! i still think of them all as they were the day i met them - meghan was 12, alex was 5, drew was 2 or 3, and no one else was around yet.
we leave for arizona on april 3rd to go see scott and jess. that will be a welcome vacation! we're going to see a cave and relax! it will be our first real vacation since our honeymoon!
we got a new camera after christmas. i researched long and hard and decided on the canon powershot SD850IS. it absolutely rocks. i can get insane shots of moving objects, which was important with all the kids and pets around! and of course we now have a ton more pictures on the picture site at http://mckate.smugmug.com.

well, that's all the update i have for now!

at last....

michael graduated today. we attended an all-university graduation ceremony like all the others this morning and then went to a luncheon where the individual law school candidates were hooded (they put a sash around your neck, i had to put my own on before the graduation started, which was hilarious, because it's not an easy piece of apparel to figure out and i had no idea what to do with it...). all in all, it was a very nice day. mostly, i'm glad it's over. it is about a hundred times more difficult to be married to someone in law school than it is to actually attend law school. michael has a job, starting January 3rd, as the third attorney at a workers' compensation defense firm representing insurance companies. so here we are, married for 2+ years, in our house for our first christmas, with 2 very sweet puppies and it finally seems as if everything is coming together.

during the hooding ceremony, the speaker made reference to the following poem. it cracks me up. i insert it now in dedication to my husband, esquire.

‘The night before Christmas’ in legalese"

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at theHouse, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.

Author unknown

national lampoon's halloween vacation

so a couple of months ago we got this flyer in our mailbox written in some sort of old school english in a weird font. i couldn't quite figure out exactly what i was supposed to do, but i did figure it had something to do with a halloween decorating contest in our neighborhood. with mike in his last semester and me just not caring enough about halloween (i just like the kids dressed up), we decided not to participate. good decision. we would have gotten our butts kicked. turns out halloween is HUGE here on vista ave. i came home from an appointment at about noon and the festivities were in full swing. the guy across the street had one of those blow up jumpy things for kids to play in as they trick or treated and a bar set up with two different types of margaritas. everyone else had full cemetaries. we had a pumpkin. but he was very cute.

Transformers...more than meets the eye

one of our favorite movies of this summer was transformers, so when it came out on DVD, mike had to have it. i found this special edition at target. the actual DVD case is a transformer!! check out the photos (and new photos from Wagfest, our carpet, and our lawn) at http://mckate.smugmug.com.

an evening at home with 1 and 4.5/5ths lawyers

michael and i rented "fracture" tonight. i never get sick of watching anthony hopkins act like a crazy dude.
so in the movie (disclaimer - if you haven't seen it and don't want to know anything, stop reading), anthony hopkins shoots his wife and puts her in a coma, gets acquitted, pulls the plug, and then they go after him for murder. this screams double jeopardy, which pretty much says you can't be tried for the same crime twice. well, of course it's a little more complicated. so, after reliving our criminal law 1L classes, i finally make mike hand me his laptop so i can google whether this is a legitimate legal tactic.
here's the funny part - i found at least 3 writeups on whehter the legal principles used in this exact movie were legally sound. not just quick mentions or yes or no answers, but complex hypotheticals and research. which means, lawyers from around the country watched the movie (making cracks all the way through about how unrealistic everything is), discussed this movie with someone (likely someone less than interested in the conversation), and then jumped on the internet to engage in a legal discussion regarding the movie.
this is how lawyers spend their free time. researching and discussing the legal theory of something that, before law school, would have been considered nothing more than entertainment. other professionals just don't do that.

britney, britney, britney....

i have been a britney fan for a long. time. so long in fact, that i only need to refer to her as britney. i once attended a britney concert (with mike allen of course!). crazy is one of the songs in heaviest rotation on my ipod. it just gets me pumped up.

what does not get me pumped up, however, is ms. spears half-assing her "comeback". seriously. you have been investigated by the authorities twice for being an unfit parent. you shaved your head. you insist you did not need to go to rehab. you utilize gas station bathrooms, and not one of those nice bathrooms where things are clean, but one of those ones you need to get the key from the attendant to use, and should only be used in the case of an extreme emergency, but only if you're up to date on all your vaccines, without shoes on. i don't like to wear shoes, but i'm not that adventuresome. and lastly, your parenting skills have led everyone in the country to think Kevin Federline is the best choice for parenting those poor kids. Kevin Federline. papa zao. yeah.

MTV took a chance and, despite conflict that should have made it clear to them this was the worst idea in history, agreed to not only let you perform, but to be the opening of their ratings challenged VMAs. they're kicking themselves for that one.

i think this Dennis Hensley, writing for MSN.com said it best -
"Her blasé attitude, though, is inexcusable. Britney was like a jaded stripper a few minutes before closing time who leaves her ciggie burning backstage while she goes out to shake her weary ass for the punters one more time. Simply put, she looked like she didn’t want to be there."

i couldn't have described it better myself. this could have been huge for you britney. instead, your performance looked like you were wandering about aimlessly, occasionally stopping to lip-sync the lyrics to your ever-so-complicated song. you should have tried a little harder.

britney, you've lost a fan.

2 years

well, mike and i have been married for 2 years. and together for 5! that just seems crazy. we celebrated our anniversary by going out for lunch with family and pretty much spent the rest of the day in bed. me watching an america's next top model marathon on MTV and cuddling the pups and mike doing worker's comp homework. pretty symbolic for what the last 2 years have been like, that's for sure! as we look forward into next year, a lot is going to change. we're waiting (somewhat impatiently at this point!) to hear about a promotion for me and mike is set to graduate in december. then we'll both be working folk for the first time in our relationship. it will be interesting to see how things progress, that's for sure!
last weekend we had the pleasure of hanging out with greg. although we haven't seen him in over a year, it was of course like nothing had ever changed. i'll post pictures soon!!!

new picture website

you can see pictures from our house remodeling, our wedding, our honeymoon, and dylan matthew on our new photo website at http://mckate.smugmug.com. the house remodeling has painstaking details listed in the captions for all 101 pictures! but i think we're finally done for awhile now!!

bus stop chronicles

how is it that the same people that wear denim jumpers are the same people that wear black fanny packs?

like father like daughter

so mike and i went to the grocery store today. you know those completely oblivious people at the grocery store that wander around in the middle of the aisle while talking on the phone and paying no attention to their children, who are running amuck? well, as we were trying to navigate the very crowded store (we try not to go on weekends) to buy our 2 items, we ended up stuck behind a man and his two children. his two children were playing with cell phones and therefore were unable to watch where they were going and walk at a normal pace. and of course they were in the middle of the aisle. the funny thing was, the cell phones were toys, not even working devices that could possibly be bearing news that is so important that it would warrant holding up a whole line of people. inconsiderate cell phone people are bad enough, now a whole new generation of inconsiderate cell phone toy children to grow up and replace their parents!
didn't mr. T recently have a show where he found people that were being stupid in public and called them out on it? i can't imagine how that show got cancelled. what a brilliant idea.

objectively speaking...

this is one of the best looking baby boys i've ever seen. and i've seen a lot of b aby boys.

i'm pretty sure he's smiling in this one. he's very advanced. they're not supposed to do that for weeks.

dylan matthew fischer

danielle arrived at mercy hospital at 8am on friday, had her water broken 20 minutes later, had some contractions, got an epidural at about 4, i got to iowa city at about 5, she started pushing at 5:30, and at 7:02, dylan matthew fischer became the newest member of our family! he was 8lbs, 5 oz. and measured 21 inches. he has beautiful dark hair (even if it is a little mullety in the back) and brown eyes. he was supposed to poop 1 time in his first 24 hours, and when i changed his diaper yesterday, i marked his 4th. he's already advanced.
pictures are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mckate/
i know i might be a little biased, but seriously, i have cute nephews (and my niece is almost 16, so cute doesn't work for her, she's beautiful).
another fun tidbit - eric's sister was induced thursday morning and had her baby exactly 6 minutes after danielle. she had a baby girl. very cool for them.
i'm so thankful i made it to the hospital in time. my mom and i and danielle's friend kerri were outside the room when dylan was born. i honestly think that hearing him cry for the first time was my favorite moment ever. what an amazing experience.
everyone's healthy and happy. and then there were seven.....

finally!

i just got a phone call from my sister. they're inducing her tomorrow morning!!! so it looks like as of tomorrow (July 20) the count will be 1 niece, 6 nephews! pictures will follow asap!!

kate's travels

i am once again away from home for 3 weeks for training for work. again this time in cincinnati. although being away from home and sitting through 8 hours of class every day is stressful, nothing quite compares to the plane rides to and from cincinnati and one hour timezone changes every friday and sunday. good news though - TSA has been kind enough to introduce just enough ridiculousness to the process to make it interesting.
i do not check any luggage when coming to cincinnati. their airport ground crew is extremely slow and i have no interest in standing around the baggage claim for a half hour by myself waiting for my bag. so, i pack light and carry my suitcase on. just as a means of background, i also carry 2 laptops with me, my personal and my work computers. i always wear a hooded sweatshirt and crocs. i have things down to a science.
on my first trip to cincinnati, i completely forgot about the liquid rules. i had packed everything that i needed. let's be honest, especially when i have no need to look good for anyone, i really don't need much to get ready in the morning. unfortunately, i need just about one bottle more than fits in a one quart ziploc. ok, seriously, i had never SEEN a one quart ziploc until i suddenly needed to unpack my bag and try to fit everything in this bag. good thing i got their early.
so, i stuff my things in the bag, throwing away things that aren't necessary. i manage to make the bag look like it might close and wander my way up to the line. thank god there was no one behind me. i put one laptop in a bin, another laptop in a bin, my shoes (which after repeatedly trying to explain to TSA that they're MADE OF FOAM absolutely must be taken off) and sweatshirt and liquids in a 3rd bin, my backpack went through separately, and my carryon separately. i manage to create a 5 item caravan to get through security.
i walk through the metal detector without incident and overhear someone requesting that they perform a bag search on my bag. oh crap.
so, the TSA guy pulls my bag aside as i try to reassemble everything else and pulls out my bathroom bag. apparently he and i differ in terms of the question "what's a liquid". so he tells me i can't take my shaving cream, that toothpaste is a liquid, and that my contact solution is not a liquid. contact solution is not a liquid? how can that be?! because it is medicinal, which makes it not a liquid for purposes of TSA. he then puts the remainder of my things in the weird sized bag and tries to close it. it barely closes and he tells me that i'm lucky that he'll let me through because the bag must "close easily" in order to be allowed and that the next time i travel i should consider bringing less stuff. whatever dude.
so i go to cincinnati. on the way back, there are no problems.
again i return to the milwaukee airport. this time, i'm prepared. i have everything in the baggy and life is good. i unpack my suitcase, take off most of my clothes, say a prayer, and walk through. again, i overhear someone asking for a bag search for my bag. son of a bologna!
so i ask the TSA guy what the problem seems to be. you see, i drink tropical punch koolaid. i purchase the tub stuff that's mixed with the sugar already and i was bringing some back to cincinnati with me. apparently the koolaid in my suitcase required them to check my bag. the TSA man told me that i should probably send the koolaid through separately the next time. in addition to my 2 laptops, sweatshirt, shoes, and liquid items. so everything but my clothes. yeah, i'll get right on that.
the true hilariousness of this story occurred to me this morning as i was taking a shower and shaving my legs. yes, shaving my legs. with a razor that i brought onto the plane 3 separate times without anyone questioning me.
i can't wear foam shoes through the metal detector.
i can only bring a one quart bag full of less than 3oz of each liquid (which apparently includes pastes...)
i should send koolaid through separately.
i had to throw away my shaving cream because it didn't fit.
a razor though, no problem.